Activity

Hey Erekdale,

So I’ve been working on a short story lately, originally intended as a sorta light-hearted coming-of-age prequel to my novel (one of several stories), with the protagonist, Erhard, as a twelve year old on the beginning of his journey into knighthood.

Without going into too much detail, he gets unknowingly involved in a theft ring, one member (Jenny, a laundry maid) sells out the others to some bullying squires in a fit of jealousy after figuring out that she’s just being romantically manipulated by the ringleader (a castle guard two-timing with the kitchen-maid (Angelin, main girl)), Erhard stands by the Ringleader (Fritz, whom Erhard’s come to see as an older brother figure), and the whole thing gets broken up by the Lady of the castle, a woman known for her cruelty and severity. Erhard, Fritz, and Angelin all get off lightly; Erhard is taken to be groomed by the Lady as her personal squire (not properly traditional, I know @northerner 🙂 ), while Fritz is made to be his bodyguard and both he and Angelin are not so subtly warned never to steal again.

What’s bugging me is that it makes sense for Jenny (laundry-maid) to be unfairly punished.
From a meta-standpoint, I’m not sure if I have room in the stories to develop another maid character, especially since Angelin is at the heart of a rather destructive and fateful love-triangle later on; having another maid just complicates things. Plus, Jenny would undoubtedly reveal Fritz’s faithlessness to Angelin (which she already knows of, but she overlooks it because she’s trying to use Fritz’s thievery to win her freedom and a more comfortable existence); Jenny would be a continual thorn, and either force Angelin and Fritz to separate, or reveal Angelin’s pragmatic manipulation early. Jenny’s just supposed to be a two-bit, one-story character who functions as a source of guilt in later stories.

In story, the Lady – Kyreleis – is known for her fickle mercy and her severe punishments. From her viewpoint, it makes sense to punish one thief as an example to the others – as a perpetual reminder that they should have been sentenced to labor in her mines, but as a result of her mercy, they go free while their friend is punished in their place. Ringleader and Laundry-Maid function as two useful pawns who are much less dangerous to her schemes than nobles or soldiers.

But if she’s merciful to all three of them – that doesn’t make sense to Kyreleis. That just leaves all three of them together to continue to conspire, and makes it seem as if Kyreleis doesn’t have the guts to punish the young. From meta, Kyreleis is not a generally merciful individual. She is seen as just (sort of), fair (when it suits her), but never as generally merciful. Even though these stories use the viewpoint of other characters, Kyreleis is the real protagonist of the (eventual) novel, and it’s important that her reputation as a cruel, fickle tyrant is developed to be contrasted against her private, inner character.

TL;DR – I feel guilty for subjecting a minor character to a cruel injustice on the whims of my MC, a cruel and unjust tyrant.

And I might also be wondering if I’m not administering appropriate “karmic” justice for the sins of my characters (or just taking too long about it). Fritz should pay the price for his philandering, thievery, and deceitfulness; Angelin should pay the price for her selfish manipulation of others; Erhard should pay for his (as yet unrealized) arrogance, selfishness, wrath, and lust; Kyreleis will pay for her tyranny and myriad sins – but in what way can I construct these so that they lead to salvation, and not just the audience cheering for the demise of my awful, wicked protagonists? I want to lead the reader to God, through my characters’ wickedness – not just their wickedness in and of itself.

@karthmin, @kelly-lundgren, @catwing, @emgc, @filewriter, @northerner, @devastate-lasting, @sarah-inkdragon, @allison-grace