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@missfaeriekaiti Thank you for letting us read this excerpt of your story.

In terms of pacing, I think it moved along at a decent pace. It was a bit boring at times, but I liked how you didn’t just have them talking. You had them moving and doing things. I believe that helped the scene a great deal.

What if you were to give Sarsalor a nickname? It might make the story a bit more personable.