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Hello!

So, one of the projects I’m considering for Camp NaNoWriMo* is editing my dark steampunk Rapunzel retelling in which the Rapunzel character is trapped in a clock tower by a group of dark alchemists who sort of used her as a very illegal experiment. However, the more I consider the story, the more I’m worried that my Rapunzel character (hereafter referred to by her name, Breen) doesn’t have enough agency in her own story. Her part of the plot basically consists of:

• Is trapped, miserable, wondering if she still really counts as human/alive due to what the alchemists did to her.
• The prince (Josiah) shows up; talks to her; tries to pry her story out of her. She resists telling him because she’s worried about her family (who she thinks the alchemists may try to hurt if she reveals any of their secrets).
• Breen and Josiah become friends as he continues to visit her by night; because of their friendship, Breen starts to believe she’s worth something/still human.
• Alchemists find out what’s going on; use Breen to threaten Josiah and stop him from revealing their secrets.
• There’s a fight; Breen basically sacrifices herself (she thinks) so one of the alchemists won’t kill Josiah. She doesn’t die; uses her knowledge of the clock tower to stun the alchemist so Josiah can get an advantage over her.
• Josiah gets seriously injured; Breen risks her life (again) to try to heal him.

So, yes, Breen does do things, but they’re very centered on Josiah. And I don’t want to accidentally imply that girls’ lives should be centered on guys or that girls need a “big, strong man” to save them, physically or emotionally. But I’m not sure how to fix the story so those things don’t happen. Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks in advance!

-Sarah Narnathron

*Yes, I should’ve sorted out what I’m doing by now. In my defense, I thought I had.