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Hi! I really enjoy both writing and reading these types of characters (female characters who kick gluteus maximux FTW!), and I have a few suggestions based on both what I do and what I notice in literature. As others have pointed out, the main key is making sure you have a well-rounded character, someone whose personality isn’t centered around her ability to fight and be tough and who has interests other than fighting and being tough and so on. Keep in mind the difference between a personality centered on fighting and a personality whose center drives the desire to fight. Eowyn from LOTR is a good example here; she fights not because that’s who she is but because she’s proud and desires glory and high deeds and riding into battle seems the best way to accomplish that. Personality drives decision to fight, not the other way around.

Morrea’s suggestion to have her like some more feminine things is also good, something I’ve used frequently myself, as long as it fits with the character’s personality as a whole. But, honestly, you can have a realistic, non-annoying, strong female character who isn’t particularly interested in feminine things. The key here is that even though she herself isn’t interested in those things, she doesn’t look down on those who do love those things; instead, she recognizes the value in what they do. At the risk of sounding boastful, I’m going to pull an example from my own writing: I have a character, Gwen Alyron, who is definitely a strong female character without much interest in feminine things: she’s a dragon rider, highly skilled in battle and survival, would be very uncomfortable if anyone made her wear a dress, more at home in the sky or the mountains or on the battlefield than in a domestic or fancy setting. She also has sisters and friends who prefer more traditionally feminine things, who would rather raise a family or work as a healer than roam the mountains and fight monsters, but she doesn’t think less of them because of that. She respects their decisions and admires that they can do and enjoy something she can’t. Basically, even if your character isn’t femine herself, don’t have her be anti-feminine towards others.

Finally, don’t have your character be a jerk about the fact that she’s female and can do all these things. Most of the strong female characters who I find annoying are annoying not because they can do all these things but because they’re so high and mighty about it. They take the second half of “Strong independent woman who don’t need no man” too far. Let your character accept chivalry and kindness from guys and from people in general. Let her let others protect her at times. Let part of her strength come not just from her ability to take care of herself but from her humility and ability to recognize when she needs to turn to others for help. Do that and it’ll go a long way towards making her a strong and likeable female character.

Hope this helps!