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Aydin

I was shivering, but I pretended I wasn’t. Perhaps if I kept avoiding it it would go away.

I couldn’t remember ever being this cold. My hands and feet had gone numb and I wished I was anywhere else. Anywhere but here.

I pulled my hood up, then remembered a trick I’d learned during the long dark nights in the desert. That wasn’t as cold as this but still.

I pulled a part of my hood over my nose and mouth. It warmed with my breathing, and my face wasn’t quite as frozen. The solution was temporary. Only a second later it was colder than ever, but the brief relief was worth it.

I heard the hiss of a weapon being drawn and looked around for the source of it, startled. It was just Niarok sharpening his weapon. I relaxed, slightly, too cold to worry.

The sound was oddly comforting. Maintaining weapons always had an association of comfort. It wasn’t something you did during a battle, it was a chore for around the campfire. The soft, repetitive noise blended into the background of the noise of the snowstorm.

As soon as I was sure nobody was watching and I was facing away from them, I cupped my hands and breathed into them, trying to warm my frozen fingers. My left hand was stiff. I smiled sardonically at the thought that I didn’t have to worry about my right hand being more stiff than usual.

“Is anyone hungry?” Niarok asked. I looked up, as though I had been caught at something, but everybody was looking at him instead. I wrapped myself in my cloak again, silently cursing the weather and whatever was doing this to us. It was too much bad luck to be accidental.

Niarok really did think of everything. He handed out food to everyone who had asked for it. I hadn’t. I told myself I wasn’t hungry.

Niarok glanced up at me but I pretended I hadn’t seen him. Sometime, I’d have to come up with a better solution to my problems than “avoid eye contact and hope it goes away”. Now was not that time.

Basil’s whining was as bad as the snowstorm outside. I flat-out ignored it. If I tried to talk to him now, I’d end up either angering him or hitting him and I didn’t want to do either.

Yila sat up sleepily to eat. Her hair was chaos, the tie had sagged to one side and it was standing up in the oddest places. I smiled wryly. It reminded me of a certain person who always looked as if she began the day by wrestling a bramble bush. I could count on one hand the amount of times I had seen Liorah look respectable.

She lay back down and fell asleep. I couldn’t blame her. I was exhausted too. The adrenaline from the initial unfamiliarity had all but worn off and I was left feeling drained.

Nothing I could do about it. I was determined not to die in this storm, purely out of spite. I didn’t know who I was spiting but it was the only way I could motivate myself not to sit down and freeze to death.

I glanced at the fire. It was a lot warmer there. Something inside me, some instinct trained by years and sharpened by experience kicked back hard. I wasn’t getting that close to strangers. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable getting that close to my best friends. Then again, what was my alternative?

I shook my head, to drive out the thought. It wasn’t safe. I wouldn’t do it. If something went wrong I would deserve it. I couldn’t let something like that happen because I was careless.

I scowled at the dark figures still lingering in the opening of the cave. Like I needed this on top of everything else.