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Aydin

Basil was still crying, and all of us were at a loss what to do to fix it.

I felt sorry for him but I still wished he’d stop.

Niarok got up, careful not to wake his sister. If he did we’d all have to listen to her and I’d have to pretend not to notice her hostility and I honestly didn’t have the patience or the energy for that.

The cold had significantly lowered my patience with everyone else.

Niarok rummaged around in a bag he had with him and fished out a pouch of something. It was too much to hope he had something that would make everyone shut up for once but that would have been appreciated nevertheless.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and checked to make sure if the dark figure was still there. Now there were two. I scowled at them and looked away, determined not to react.

“Basil,” Niarok said quietly. “The water isn’t poisonous, but there could be pathogens.”

I had no idea what they were talking about and I didn’t care. It sounded dangerous but so was existing.

Niarok pulled out a handful of something, I was guessing herbs.

“If you put these in the water, the neutralize any kinds of pathogens or poisons. As long as the water isn’t dirty, it works fine. Just a small pinch should do, and this will last you about a week.”

Basil looked suspicious, mirroring my feelings.

One of the first things I’d learned was never, ever to accept anything from strangers.

“If you die a slow and painful death you deserve it for being that stupid.”

I wasn’t risking that ever again. I shivered at the vague, terrifying memories crowding in. I remembered so little of it but it was enough. I saw the reminder every time I tried to use my hand and failed. I wasn’t falling for it. I wouldn’t. I had to do better. I had to somehow make up for it.

“I’m a doctor,” Niarok said, bordering on exasperation. “These work. You’ll have to trust me on that.”

Figured. All healers I knew were either kind people or hated life with a seething fury. He seemed to be the former.

Basil looked ready to argue. Of course he did.

Niarok flatly ignored him and passed out herbs to the others.

I began formulating a plan to avoid it. I could either pretend I was asleep but he wouldn’t fall for that, I could try ignoring him, but he wouldn’t fall for that either, I could– I couldn’t do much of anything without antagonizing him, and I didn’t want to do that. I’d just have to accept it and avoid using it until I was sure that it was safe.

Niarok finally reached me and I raised an eyebrow, not quite able to hide my suspicion.

“If you want these, you can have them. They purify the water. If you don’t, that’s okay,” he said quietly.

My gaze flickered back to the opening. The two figures seemed closer, shimmering and flickering in the light. Threatening.

“Herbs?” Niarok prompted.

I hesitated, then felt around to check that I had an empty pouch at my belt. I did.

I nodded, still dubiously, then accepted it. The thought that he’d definitely notice I only used my left hand flickered across my mind. I’d burn that bridge when I got to it.

“Thanks, I know you mean well,” I said, managing something like a smile.

I put the herbs away. If they proved safe they were invaluble. If they weren’t… the others would die first. Somehow, I didn’t think it would be Niarok’s fault if it wasn’t safe.

Basil was still distantly whining.

“I want to go home.”

On one hand I couldn’t blame him but it was beyond annoying. I didn’t react, I could tolerate it.

“Sometimes we don’t get what we want,” someone said.

I snickered. It was an odd reaction to the statement but I was glad someone else was annoyed too.

It was the man with one leg. He knew something about it.  He looked embarrassed and looked away.

“Sometimes we even get the opposite of what we want, just to keep things interesting,” I said, amused. That had happened to me so often that it was deeply amusing in a bitter way.

“What was your name?” I asked, now I had the opportunity.

“Quin. Quin Miller,” He said, shyly.

“You–you said you were Aydin?”

I nodded. It felt uncomfortable to let so many people know who I was but there weren’t any other options.

“Name’s Qatar.” The other man said, his older brother probably. I practically felt waves of annoyance, frustration, and generalized anger rolling off him.

I needed to stay out of his way, otherwise he might take it out on me.

The girl with curly black hair got up and helped Quin to sit nearer the fire.

I was so tired. I was always more or less tired, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept well, but this was different. It dragged at me, trying to drag me into dark depths where nightmares waited.

I thought the cold would be enough to keep me awake, but it proved to be the opposite. I remembered something someone had told me once. Who had it been? My memory didn’t seem to be working properly.

Wasn’t it the man from Shykval who I had worked with a while in the lower spy corps?

Shykval was covered in snow and ice for more than half the year. I hadn’t even been able to imagine such cold, I didn’t know anything besides the desert and plains. Now I knew.

He’d said that if you ever fell asleep in the cold you wouldn’t wake up again. I didn’t want to die this way.

The blanket and my cloak weren’t enough anymore. They had helped, but now they were not only freezing but also drenched in snow.

I slowly got up and shook off the snow, surprised how thick the layer was already. I was stiff with cold, everything hurt. Several people looked up and I made sure not to look directly at any of them.

Pacing had never been one of my habits but it was the only way to keep warm. Perhaps Liorah’s annoying habit had some use.

I tugged my sleeve over my right hand inconspicuously, partially for the cold and partially so nobody would notice anything odd.

I glanced back at the entrance. The figures were still there.