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@this-is-not-an-alien

Aw thanks (she and Liorah would be scary together XD).

LOL, that would be hilarious XD *Visualizes Liorah and Meira together. It’s chaos. Absolute anarchy and they’re having the time of their lives. Stuff is on fire. * Umm… I take no responsibility for whatever fires Liorah started. XD

Meira wasn’t even supposed to be in my story I just needed some random servant girl to pass on plot information and then she just started talking and talking and totally crushing on my MC who wasn’t even in that scene!!! (don’t ask, idk either)

LOL, that happens sometimes XD It’s hilarious when that does happen, and I’ve gotten some really cool characters from that! One of my characters, Abidan, was intended to be a once-off messenger, but he kept popping up over and over, and now he has a major role as an ally and a foil for multiple people.

But I am worried her accent is just difficult enough to jerk out of the narration, can you tell me if it’s too much or gets to be @everyone?

Okay, I’ll try to answer this one!

I like her accent, it’s original and really suits her. It really gives off the right feeling and tone. The words just sound fun.

But you do have to limit it, especially in the beginning. Accents, slang, and foreign words are easily overdone. Less is more, and I do think you were using it a bit too much in that first sentence she spoke to Chantara. I was kinda confused, and it kind of jerked me out for a second.

If it was your intention to make her sound really foreign and unfamiliar, that’s a choice and it works, but I did have trouble understanding her, though I could guess it through context. In the rest of the writing, you did it much more subtly and it worked really well!

But, you can also remember that your reader will learn what the words mean, and then you have a bit more creative freedom. This also ties into the comfort of your character. If they’re with strangers, they might speak more formally, but they may slip into slang as they get more comfortable.

If anyone else has any input on this, I’d love to hear it, since this is something I really struggle with too! I have a tendency to underuse fictional words, I think. I have names for stuff, but I just end up describing it because I’m afraid it’s too hard to understand.

Also the moment Chantara’s looking through the dresses, so much character development there!

Thank you so much! I actually really loved that moment, even though it was kind of spontaneous.

I can honestly say, I pity Chantara more than any other character, even the ‘good guys’. I feel immensely sorry for her because she’s in such an awful, horrible situation and she doesn’t even realize it. It’s kind of hard to show here, but the situation with the Servane Siya is awful for her, but she’s gotten so used to it that she barely notices.

I know she’s a villain, and I do try to give her as much agency as possible, but I can’t help feeling so sorry for her. She is evil, and she did actively choose evil, more than once, but it could have been so different. I guess that’s what makes it so heartbreaking.

In that way, she’s a pretty interesting foil for Aydin. He’s actually one of my favorite characters and– Actually, I need to stop there because I’m on the verge of spoilers XD

@everyone

Okay, y’all, I had an idea!

I think it could spark more interactions (And give Aadipta a start on getting to know the others) if we give them a smaller lower-stakes task that they have to work on.

I was thinking, maybe the castle can make an announcement that they have to compete/complete a task/ something like that to get a reward. Maybe something like a bag with a few tools/weapons they can use. It’s a bit lower stakes but it’ll get them to cooperate, interact, and compete. We could even get them working in groups if that works better?

What do y’all think? Any ideas?