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Ophelia

Abirami and Jade were struggling. Abirami seemed completely clueless about what to do. It was hardly his fault, Jade hadn’t given him many explanations or enough time to actually learn it.

I watched with deep amusement as he seemed to be trying to walk on his toes without actually managing it.

Jade danced well, but wasn’t nearly as good at explaining. As she jumped for the lift, Abirami backed away instead of lifting her. And when he did, it seemed to be more of an attempt to keep her as far away as possible.

Jade’s frustration reached a peak as she gestured to us. “Watch Ophelia and Isaias, do what they’re doing.”

No pressure.

I glanced over at Isaias. He nodded that he was ready. His bright smile was some encouragement, but watching Abirami fumble hadn’t been.

I had an idea and ran behind the curtain. Surely there had to be some kind of music here?

Indeed, there was an old cd-player. I opened it, but the disk was unmarked. Time to hope for the best. I pressed the play button and turned down the volume button. If it was a string of gruesome threats, I didn’t need the others hearing it.

Instead, quiet music drifted out. It was simple and cheery, and it fitted the time signature.

I turned the volume up just enough so the others on the stage could hear it.

“I think that’ll help,” I said, cheerily. I skipped out onto the stage, to the place where I should start.

I just hoped I’d remember all the steps. I tried to remember what Jade had done, but the memory was like trying to grab at a  handful of mist. I’d have to improvise.

“Five, six, seven, eight,” I counted, just loud enough for Isaias to hear.

The memory of the steps was stronger in my body than in my mind. Despite the sudden forgetfulness always brought on by the stage, I drifted through the steps, meticulously making myself perform them technique-perfect. Or as close to perfect as I could get.

Thankfully, the stage wasn’t too slippery. Falling wasn’t likely. I watched Isaias’ part with trepidation. However, my fear proved to be unnecessary. His technique was practically nonexistent, but he was in the right place at the right time, and it didn’t look too clunky.

Now for the true test. I exhaled, then started in for the lift. I spun into the jump.

Please be there. Please don’t let me fall.

People had let me fall so often. I would jump and crash when nobody caught me. It was my own fault. I shouldn’t have jumped.

Isaias caught me around the waist and suddenly I was weightless, my pose curved into the exact way I’d intended it. It swept my breath away, a single moment of euphoria as I synced with the music and my partner.

I landed in perfect grace and we stood frozen for an instant, a breath, a pause. It shattered as I burst into a fit of light-headed laughter. There was nothing like this. All the pain, all the embarrassment, all the fear of not being good enough, and then one of those tiny moments where everything went right, so rare I forgot about them until they surprised me. That was what I was doing it for. It was almost pathetic.

“Thank you, that was perfect,” I said, trying to catch my breath. Isaias grinned back at me, and there was the tiniest filament of friendship, as ephemeral as that single moment I wasted my life chasing.

I gradually found my way back to planet earth and turned to Abirami.

“Did that make sense?” I asked.

He nodded sheepishly but eyed Jade like he was scared she was going to bite his head off. It appeared to be a rational concern.

“Can you just try the lift again? Maybe I can help,” I asked, uncertainly.

Jade nodded, shortly, and took a few steps back.

This time, Abirami didn’t try to back away from Jade, but he still tried to keep her at arm’s length, and he still tried to balance on his toes, only to inevitably fail. That made me smile.

Jade didn’t. She was glaring at Abirami in the heights of frustration.

“You don’t have to stand on your toes,” I started.

Abirami looked confused, so I clarified.

“It just makes you unstable. There’s not enough time to really worry about technique, it’s better to just focus on not falling over.”

For the first time, I noticed Abirami’s ears were red, and by the way he was constantly keeping Jade at arm’s length and stepping away from her whenever he could, I could guess the rest of the issue.

“I know, it’s rather awkward,” I said, with a nervous giggle. The secondhand discomfort of the situation was enough that I was probably blushing in sympathy. I hoped they wouldn’t notice.

Partnering was always awkward at first, and now it was amplified by the fact that we barely knew each other. I’d known Malcolm even before we’d gotten assigned the pax de deux, but the first few times had still been uncomfortable at best.

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@e-n-leonard

@jared-williams

Okay, I won’t be able to get around to Cal today. Oh well 😅