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@seekjustice @michelle The gecko was cute. It wasn’t in it much. Prepare to be buried in an avalanche of a rant.

HEAVY SPOILERS!!!

*clears throat* I have created a numbered list:

THE BAD THINGS

1. It was thematically scattered. I honestly am not sure what the theme was. It has something to do with Change and the fact that It Happens but I am not exactly sure what, and the only reason I know this is the theme is that they have a song about things that never change at the beginning and by the end everything in that song is different.

2. What was Elsa’s arc? I don’t know. Seriously, I don’t know. I think it was about finding herself, but at the beginning of the movie she has some lines about how she is content with the way things are, and in fact is scared that the status quo might change, and that NEVER CHANGES. She never seemed lost or uncertain of herself and that makes singing “I am found” in Show Yourself a lot less meaningful. Why does Elsa need to stay in the enchanted forest at the end of the movie? What makes it better than Arendale?

3. What was Ana’s arc? I think it was something like, “figuring out who she is apart from Elsa”, but also Ana was told by Wise Mentor to stick with Elsa and make sure Elsa stays safe. The movie gives conflicting signals as to what Ana is supposed to be doing.

4. Kristoff’s arc. His problem was he was awkward at proposing to Ana. He says things a little strangely, and the three times it happens Ana immediately takes things the worse possible way. Kristoff: “Remember how when we first met I thought you were crazy for falling in love so quickly?” Anna: “You think I’m CRAZY?!?!?” (Narrative proceeds to blame Kristoff for saying that and that Ana is perfectly justified reacting like that.) She must be having serious insecurities about their relationship in order to react this way, yet there is no proof outside this that she is. To be fair, these are basically the <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>only</span> conversations they have. Kristoff has no scenes where he doing something other than thinking about/trying to propose to Ana but for the climax. Also, since Ana revolves around Else and Kristoff revolves around Ana, their relationship feels incredibly one sided. There is never a moment where they mutually support each other. It makes me think they should have had a serious conversation about their relationship before he proposed. The end of this arc is that he finally proposes. That’s it. Now, this is a fairly simple problem that I don’t really begrudge a kids movie for having, but it goes on my numbered list.

5. They need to destroy a dam for *reasons*, which will destroy Arandelle (which apparently entirely consists of a single castle and town,) since it’s downriver. They have no time constraints, but Ana decides that the best way to do this is to lure some stone giants over to it and smash it, instead of, you know, letting it out slowly. The town is evacuated, but someone could have gone back to grab something. All of their homes would be destroyed when there was another, safer option.

6. What is the fifth element/the Voice? They say that it’s Elsa, but I’m not really sure what that means. In Into the Unknown Elsa throws some ice into the air which turns into images of the enchanted forest, implying that the voice is showing her these things. Yet in Show Yourself, her mom as a child sang “ah-ah-ah” when she was rescuing the dad. And if this vaguely sentient Voice thing could summon Elsa, why did it freeze her? And why did knocking the dam down unfreeze her?

You may have noticed that basically all of these have to do with the theme. I am strange like that.

THE GOOD THINGS

1. The songs are good. They are a lot less “catchy” than the first movie, but that isn’t a bad thing.

2. Into the Unkown is a great song and I will be singing it.

3. Kristoff’s song is literally a bad music video. I don’t know how to describe it other than watch this. Every shot is EXACTLY the same as in the movie, but with actual people instead of the characters. They took a break from the movie to have us watch a music video. I didn’t like the song but the visuals were hilarious.

4. Olaf recaps the entire Frozen 1 movie, and it is HILARIOUS!!!!! Easily the best part of the movie.

5. Elsa eventually finds a River of Memories and sings with her dead mother through *magic of the past*. As someone who felt that her parents feared her, being affirmed in this song was incredibly emotional and felt very genuine. A caveat here is that this is only significant in the context of the first movie, which this movie is very separated from and rarely referenced.

6. I like The Next Right Thing song. Ana thinks Elsa and Olaf are dead. She finally says “I don’t know what to do. Everything is hopeless. But I can do the next right thing. Just take the next step.” The emotion and grief she is feeling seem very genuine to me.

You may have noticed basically all of these had to do with the songs. The songs are great.