Activity

YES! It would be like Down to the Scum Quarter by Garth Nix, from the book [i]Across the Wall[/i]. That is hilarious!

I did pull out my writing manual. The second person story is a bit too risque for yonder forum, but the style I think may work. Let’s try this:

The Stages of Getting Out of the Dark Side by Avensbeck Contributors

You don’t know when you quite decided that evil wasn’t fun anymore, but you do know it was shortly after you were assigned to a remote outpost by Buidol Incorporated. Despite your unswerving belief in Buidol and his power to save humanity, and his support for every sort of chocolate candy imaginable, your beliefs were sorely tested when your living space became an active volcano.

For one thing, your companions were Jerry, an eccentric scientist who was building a rocket inside said volcano to impact the moon Ethermoo. The legendary Ethermoo was rumored to contain a huge diamond in the center, a diamond that Jerry believed that could be accessed – and sent plunging to earth – by smashing a rocket into the side of the moon at a critical point. This belief was further reinforced by the amount of Star Wars books and movies that Jerry had on his shelf. In addition to Jerry, you also had access to his bodyguard Snorg, who was at least 2 feet taller than you, had at least 20 times as much muscle as you, and from your expert psychology background, had as much brains as a great white shark. Neither were great conversationalists.

For the second thing, it was altogether too warm in the volcano. Your job was primarily keeping track of the inventory in Jerry’s basement and keeping track of the budget for the project, which was a tricky job. Jerry’s project was considered important to restore the fortunes of Buidol because the sales of cute plastic bunny rabbits to eagerly awaiting true believers were much lower than expected. This loss had been attributed to the competition from Caidol, which new weapon of cat memes had resulted in a much better marketing campaign, and the usual trouble from the Gospelists.  The net result of that was that you spent hours of gardening in the scorching heat to avoid having to buy vegetables, then felt lonely when Snorg complained about them.

One day, though, when you were sitting at your desk, Snorg came up to you with a giant club and said that he wanted to raid the village down the hill from the volcano. You:

1. Stayed at your desk – go to 2

2. Accompanied Snorg on the raid – go to 3

3. Rebuked Snorg for his terrible life choices – go to 4

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2. Your desk

After Snorg left, Jerry came back to your desk and said that the rocket is just about ready for launch. He wanted you to look over the rocket for malfunctions with a different set of eyes. You also had a bunch of safety papers and checks from HQ that you needed to give him. You:

1. Gave Jerry the safety papers and told him to buzz off until he finished them – go to 6

2. Gave Jerry the safety papers and accompanied Jerry back to the rocket – go to 7

3. Go check out the rocket and reason that you’ll give Jerry the safety papers later – go to 8

3. The Village

The village is full of paranoid people who dislike idols of any sort. You didn’t fault them – idols were for the rich, and you were being careful. In addition to all of that, you wree not allowed to tell anyone else why you were there, because that was top secret. Not that you had that to worry about because everyone is ran away from Snorg.

[insert choices here]

4. Snorg.

Rebuking Snorg was a terrible idea, you found out after he beat you to death with his club. The cat had an easier time of it than you. The end.

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Okay, so I’m tired now and I need to stop – I’m writing this on the seat of my pants, heh. Obviously this isn’t final, if you have a better vision, go forth and conquer, and if you want to continue this one go right ahead but my brain is dissolving in drowsiness rn.

Also, like at the end of the story I wanted to give the reader a choice to accept the Gospel and reject the idol worship thing, which this story is a satire of. In case anyone was wondering whether or not this is a Christian story, yes, yes it is.