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Mariposa Aristeo replied to the topic Storytelling/Grammar Question in the forum General Writing Discussions 7 years, 11 months ago
@annamarieoriginal I would recommend using commas over em dashes and keeping the semicolons. Too many em dashes can be distracting to readers.
Besides that, it seems like there’s a little too much telling here. For instance, instead of saying how Ellen is a quiet but likeable bookworm, you could mention how she was sitting silently by a tree, reading, etc. 🙂












