1. the overall flow of your story is solid.

there’s a lot of info dumping in your prologue which is usually saved and spread out along the first few chapters.  prologues are an attention grabber; more snappy and say “mysterious.”

your paragraphs are very long which can lead to them being clunky.  there’s nothing wrong with large p…[Read more]

if you would like I can go and highlight and comment the sections I was talking about.  🙂

in answer to your questions:

-I love the flow of your story.  the way you arranged the paragraph and sentence lengths kept your prose from getting bogged down and clunky.  it flowed smoothly and I thought that Kirin’s thoughts fit nicely in.

there’s two areas where I was confused: when he goes from the arena into the barracks i…[Read more]

to answer your questions:

-it is intriguing.  I like how you drop the reader right into the action.  it makes me curious for what went on before and what is going to happen.

-the characters are mysterious however I was getting confused to who was doing the talking and the action; at some points your wording is vague.

-overall I…[Read more]

Here’s a snippet from a scene I wrote today –

My breath clouds the air in front of me.  It’s cold outside but I made a promise.

Never miss a sunset.

I disperse the clouds, exchange them for new ones with another breath.

The sun is burning everything it touches a gold that cannot be replicated no matter how many photos I take.  It is n…[Read more]

xD he was one of the characters I found the most interesting…

Anyways I’ll try better to be active.  🙂

Here are my September writing goals:

-edit and get my poetry manuscript ready for beta readers

-write daily in journal

-plot a book

I hope you all have a productive and lovely September!

here’s one of the first lines I wrote back in 2015 –

“The rhythmic noise of Naphtal’s axe cut through the forests reproachable sile…[Read more]

Thank you so much!  That’s what I was hoping it to sound like :p

@scribbles – oh that makes sense…thank you so much!  I shall commence editing it.  :p  I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner.

Dear heart
He calls
Courage
I’m…[Read more]

As for mythical creatures I love what [Read more]

@ajaj2000 – thank you 🙂

[Read more]

@enu – Hi!  Winged creatures?  That sounds awesome!  🙂   World building is amazingly fun.  I…[Read more]

@ajaj2000 – Hi!  Ooh another fantasy writer!  🙂 Hmm…time travel – that concept is always interesting.  Also your second WIP sounds intriguing!  I’ll be…[Read more]

My name is Lydia, I’m sixteen and I live in the US.  I’m introverted and would rather curl into a ball and read than go places.  Unless you are going to a bookstore or going on a magical quest – if you are then I’ll come.

I write in a bunch of genres – historical fiction, fiction, dystopian, poetry however my favorite genre to write is f…[Read more]

-write 1st draft of fantasy WIP

-get beta readers for poetry manuscript

-start photography business

-open blog

-get ahead on 11th grade schoolwork

-read 30 books

this is the really exciting one : deep clean room :p

Thank you for the word recommendations!  🙂  I definitely agree with your choices – thank you!

Ah okay – that makes sense!  🙂  It’s almost like a repeating idea the two sentences.  How about something like – with no hope or with no way out….?

Thank you so much!  <3

I’d love to read more of your poems too!

Any critique would be welcome 🙂  And I was wondering what words separated by a / work better

When I was younger I used to hate reading poetry but a little over a year ago I started writing free verse poems in order process and think through a ton of things I was going through.  However I don’t know if they’re any good because I haven’t shown them to anyone. :p
If you…[Read more]

What kind of things do you enjoy photographing?

I love photography too.  😀

I’m a Ydubber too though I rarely interact on the community because I’m a socially awkward potato.  Okay not a potato but definitely introverted.  :p

What kind of poetry do you like to write?