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K. A. Grey replied to the topic A Poem for the CONTEST! in the forum Poetry Discussions 6 years, 8 months ago
@emma-starr I think it’s lovely. I think you have some great images in there, but you could, as @sir-leeds said, “embellish” it a bit. For example, try not to use trite expressions. We know that winter is grey and cold, now let us see it in a new way. So instead of saying the tea is cold, you could say it has “lost its warmth, lost its soul”. Maybe that’s a little weird, but you get the idea. xD Use vivid verbs and nouns instead of is/was +adjective combinations. Also, cartoonish does seem a little out of place… maybe “playful caricature”?
Overall, I really like it. You paint clear pictures that I can see in my mind, now just try to enhance those pictures. I hope this helps!












