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@this-is-not-an-alien,

No, that was EXCELLENT critiquing!! I wrote this story… yeesh, like two years ago or something, and I thought it was so good until I went back and reread it for this. Then I was like, “Oh dear. This is not what I thought it was.” XD So we’re fixing it up!

Yurp, Nayandi’s the POV for the entire story if I remember right. And thx for the tips! I shall apply them. 🙂

I don’t have time to type out a “brutally critical” critique right now, but I shall later! 😀