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@kb-writer

I think that’s an amaaaazing start! I can put more specific, line-editing-type comments on the actual doc a bit later if you think that would be helpful, but just to get the editing ball rolling:

I think the backstory would feel stronger if we knew what Tabitha’s job was. Maybe it was one she really liked and depended on for fulfillment and companionship as well as money? Also I was a little uncertain as to how Tabitha met JD at first. But then, I read through it pretty fast.

I also think the connection between Tabitha’s job loss and her feeling of worthlessness could be stronger and clearer.

And also, at the end, what if Emily’s action of bailing Tabitha out was really what impacted Tabitha, rather than Emily’s words? (I love how Emily keeps trying to explain but feels like her words aren’t working, btw.) After all, Emily saved Tabitha from prison, not because Tabitha deserved freedom but because she was Emily’s friend. Seems like that would get the gears working in Tabitha’s head…

Anyway, those were my thoughts, but I think this story is great! I love the action and the suspense, and the characters felt so real–especially impressive in less than 2000 words!