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Quin

He walked away from Niarok, into the darkness of the cave, and stood, staring vacantly into the shadows. Memories flooded his brain, and for once he didn’t try to shove them away. It hurt too much to even protest, so he let the pain slide down across the few short months since It happened, through the memories.

<The horse’s scream>–he could still hear it, sealed forever in the back of his memory, freezing his blood. Horrible, unearthly. His heart pounded with fear as it echoed in his memory. [fun fact–I’ve heard a horse “scream”. It’s as bad as every author describes it].

The moment, frozen in time, of sheer terror. The split second of immobility that he would wish for all eternity that could have back. To try again. Not to let himself be paralyzed by fear. To act. To move.

To move! How many times had he wished the same thing, since that day. Just to move again. freely, without stumbling. His eyes drifted over to Qatar. as he pushed himself to his feet from a squatting position. Quickly. Easily. It would have taken Quin twice as long–even if he could squat.

Amputation. The word sounded harmless enough. But how many demons lurked in every syllable! leaping out at him every time the word echoed in his mind, followed by another echo: the echoes of his mother’s screaming. He covered his face in his hands, as though trying to squeeze the sound from his ears.

“No, no!” it was no more than a moan.

He didn’t hear Niorak  approaching until he stood directly behind him.

“I appreciated what you had to say earlier,” Niarok said quietly.

Quin  started and looked at him. It was a long look, traveling all the way from the painful past into the dull present. His eyes focused, and the faraway look slowly faded.But the pain didn’t it dimmed, for a moment, until he saw the look in Niarok’s eyes.

Questions. Why does everyone have questions! His mind rose up against Niarok, and he had to shove it back. It’s normal–of course people will notice. He glanced at Acyn. and wonder why.

he cleared his throat.

“Thanks. Or you’re welcome, I guess.”

“I’ve had to do… amputations – before now,” Niarok continued.  “And it hasn’t been a pleasant experience. I’m just glad I won’t have to do it for my sister.”

You won’t? That’s good. But I don’t know enough about medicine to know.

“Lorcan had something help her.”

Locran always has something to help. He couldn’t help the bitterness that rose suddenly in his mind, but he shoved it away again.

“But I just wanted to tell you that you were brave to suggest it. I may not know what it’s like to live without a limb, but I do know this. Most people lose the will to live. You didn’t. That was brave. And it was braver to want well-being for someone else, even if it means causing pain for yourself.”

Quin gasped, as if he’d been hurt, almost under his breath.

Niarok froze at the little sound.

Idiot! Now you’ve done it. Made him feel bad on top of everything else. He wished he could vanish into the floor, as he had so many countless times before.

“Wait.”

Niarok turned slowly back until he was looking at Quin.

He opened his mouth to say something–to thank Niarok for trying to make him feel better, but just then he caught the slightest movement of Niarok’s eyes. The almost imperceptible glance, that the owner struggled against, and fought to hide. Down.

At the missing leg.

Quin smiled in spite of himself. A grim smile, without any mirth.

“There was nothing that could have changed it. It was an–an accident–amputation was…not a medical procedure. It was a fact.”

Niarok’s eyes widened.”you mean your–how’d you know…”

“You’re a doctor,” answered Quin, as though that explained it. “Besides,” he looked off into the shadows. “Everybody asks that question.”

He turned away, forgetting to say what he’d called Niarok back for, and Niarok turned reluctantly to go, too.

“And Niarok.” the struggle in his voice was evident, and he didn’t turn around. “I’m glad it’s an option you didn’t have to consider. Your sister likes her knives too much for that.”

 

Same, @denali-christianson–if anything is un-Niorak-like, just change it. 🙂