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@anne_the_noob14 – Mm, not that I have anything against 3rd person (and actually I’m extremely biased towards 1st person, so take this statement with a grain of salt xD) but I think this story would be interesting in 1st person. It might be harder to write and get in the zone of, but it’d be super cool to see what the thoughts of a non-emotional person are like. *shrug*

Anyways, a few things that stood out to me, when I re-read the plot-thingy in greater detail:

1. This is extremely nit-picky, but using the words ‘sensor’ and ‘receptor’ was a bit confusing. Definition-wise, a sensor is a device that detects or senses heat, light, sound, motion, etc., and then reacts to it in a particular way. A receptor is usually used in biology, for a nerve ending that senses changes in light, temperature, pressure, etc., and causes the body to react in a particular way. So I can understand that the sensor on the shoulder is like a metal/device thing you can see, but I don’t think receptor is the right term. Another sensor in the brain, maybe, connected to the amygdala (the part of the brain that processes emotion) that detects emotion and sends a signal to the other sensor in the shoulder to shock them (also, does the shoulder-sensor shock them or does the amygdala-sensor somehow send a message to the nervous system to register a shock-like pain?)

2. You said someone only gets shocked for heightened emotion. Does that mean people can still experience ‘lesser’ emotions, or is the shock so painful during extremely happy/sad times that the person is basically afraid to feel, so they eventually just stop having those emotions? Training the brain not to process emotions because of the pain (which will have to be excruciating) that will inevitably come? I think that’s what you meant by rewiring.

3. The scientists figured out that very emotional people died younger. If that’s the case, I think it’s a bit extreme for the government or whatever it is to go all out with the sensor thingies and ‘kill’ everyone’s emotions. But it would be much more plausible if, for some reason, the scientists discovered that even just a normal person’s emotions rapidly shorten their life. Oooh, plot twist (not to write the story for you, I’m just spewing ideas out here, lol) what if the person in charge of this whole thing (who could seem like a bad guy, maybe) had such a traumatizing experience that he or she made that whole discovery thing up as an excuse to stop everyone from experiencing emotions, even happy ones, so they don’t suffer the same way he or she did?

As for the believability, yes, I think it’s in the area of sci-fi reason (not that I’m an expert on sci-fi, or anything really. xD) Of course you’ll have to think about the acid-battery-leak thingy, but I believe you can figure it out. 😉 And as for the man falling in love, that’s certainly possible. It’s not as if his amygdala was ripped out, lol. And he’s the MC. He can be special.

(sorry for the length of that xD – I’m a bit of a brain-nerd and want to study cognitive science one day. Which is why this whole concept is so fascinating to me.)