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k now i read the full story .

now i understand everything . good work .

<SPOILERS AHEAD>

but my concerns are on the first page of the story , every thing else is great . need to work more on that establishing story , cause i didnt know she was running away from her planet and i thought she was in Srepsev and she was from earth not an alien from another planet and most importantly idk what planet she is in . the setting is not explained  properly . it confused me to the core .

everything made sense when i read the story second time , first time i didnt understand a lot . i didnt know which is flashback and which is present . i though she was on Srepsev the entire time until the ending . well it definitely is a suspense story but that doesnt mean you need to confuse someone , a little more clarity in the setting would be good like more about the planets themselves like a prologue or a story time  in camp where they explain it .

i dont know where the story is set like do they have futuristic tech or only she has futuristic tech things like that . more about the space craft she is in would be great .

more flashbacks would be good . like flashbacks far before she crashed ,flashback before crisis in her planet etc….. i think some things are repeated unknowingly(Eg: a donut , a donut with cream then a donut with coco chips etc…but basically its a donut ) which could be replaced with this flashbacks of childhood .

and one of the most important thing is idk the age of character and i feel like apart from Dael and Faine all other characters are ignored . if  Sepoh is a character (idk whether is it like hello or is it a character ).but Torinya is not explained much , i only know two things about her .camp leader+ rescuer, nothing else.

there is a certain place where faine talks about leaving before the phoenix  came , but i didnt understand it while reading it for the first time cause i know nothing about her or why is she talking about phoenix and leaving what ? its a bit early to talk about it ,it feels irrelevant  the first time read it . tbh i didnt give much importance to that sentence cause it was irrelevant for me . only when i read second time ik why it is there .

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note to self :dont read google doc from phone . changes everything . there is a big difference between reading in phone and reading in PC.