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@jane-maree   ( if you want to tag everyone in our guild, ok)

 

So here is what I’m working with my story:

Ablaze

Main Character – Dayton Andrea Frasier – 32 year old woman fire chief. 5 foot 7, with a strong, slim frame and long arms. Brown eyes, naturally blonde hair dyed brown, and a normal sized nose, sprinkled with freckles. A slightly squared chin, and normal sized ears. Has a rugged, unforgivably stern look about her face unless she smiles, displaying her large, pretty white teeth.
She believes she is independent, strong and able to handle every situation that crashes into her life. After all, that the way she grew up. Through the family’s struggles, from the loss of their beloved home in Florida to her Dad’s death from alcohol abuse, she had to make her own way. She was crushed at first, but by her own strength, she was able to become invincible. Now she is unconquerable and unforgiving; no one can stand in her way.
Most of the time she is a fairly good-natured person, just as long nothing is making her angry or frustrated. Is very strict about being on time and getting things done. Is quick of mind and motion, is organized, and as good leadership skills, making her seem almost ideal to her role, except for her tendency to become unreasonable when angry and hold grudges when offended.

Second Main Character – Jared William Palmer – 33 years old, 5 foot 11, and broad-shouldered. Has short light brown hair and soft brown eyes with blue around the pupils. A slightly short nose, small ears and a dimpled and slightly scruffy chin. One of the members of the fire crew. A Christian and Jamie’s step-uncle. Likes Dayton but can’t really show it, since she isn’t a Christian and hates that type of relationship ( her first husband abandoned her). He tries to witness to her and ends up telling her that he loved her. Drives the trucks and is usually the ‘grunt in the trenches’, the one in the forefront of the fires.

Other Speaking Characters – David (Dave) Vickery – 50 years old. Oldest member of the crew. Steady and clear-minded. Tries to warn Dayton about her immoderate anger and calculated grudge holding.

Jackson (Jack) Ford – 26 years old. The handsomest member of the crew. Fast and strong, with excellent troubleshooting skills. Mostly tried to be on good terms with Dayton but sometimes can’t help but be find some way of getting under her skin, mostly when she’s being unreasonable already.
Alan Bolt – 24 years old, The youngest, second handsomest, and tallest member of the crew. Also strong and fast- faster than Jack- but more reckless and more likely to be on bad terms with Dayton.
Laura Westman – 25 years old and the only African- American on the crew. An easy-going girl but able to handle emergencies with speed and endurance. Mostly she handles driving the trucks and responding to the medical end of things. Mostly doesn’t talk much.

Jamie Snow – 22 years old. A Christian. Doesn’t respond to fires. She is dispatcher and secretary. The prettiest girl at the station. Mostly doesn’t interact with Dayton but steps up and speaks to her in the story.

Mentioned Characters – Dayton’s Mother, Dayton’s little boys (Jaden and Shane),

Theme: Refusing to forgive from hatred and bitterness will leave a scar that will never heal.

Setting: Chief’s office at the beginning, then moves with the crew to the scene of a fire.

Lay-out of the Story – Story begins in Dayton’s office, about six o’clock at night, where Jared confessing how he had crashed one of the trucks ( he had been cut-off in a intersection and had been force to either hit the idiot or a tree. He choose the tree and Dayton is wanting to know why).

He has just finished explaining to her why in the opening scene. She tells him she would have run over the idiot. He disagrees and begins to explain why. But she cuts him off and gives us a flashback of his first attempt at witnessing and his confession of love. He tried to reason with her but she cuts him off again and says hateful things and orders him out of the office. He leaves and Jamie enters.

Jamie has brought her her mail and a request for sponsoring a local event. When she hands her the mail, she stand a moment, hesitating. When Dayton asks, kindly for her current mood, what is wrong, she gently speaks up in defense of her uncle, trying to get Dayton to understand. Dayton gets just angry with her as with him. Jamie gets frustrated with the undue hatred and passionate in what she is saying. In the middle of the exchange, the phone rings in the other office and Jamie rushes off to answer it.

Just as Dayton is trying to recollect herself, the alarms go off and Jamie’s voice cries for Jared, Dave and Jack (these two were washing trucks). Dayton takes charge and gets the crew on the road. Dave is ready before the rest and they have a few minutes to talk, though she wasn’t wanting to. He warns her that her anger and hatred are just like the fire she is going to fight. Is she going to pump water to put it out or gas to keep it burning? She nothing but just glares at him and yells at Alan.

Follows Dayton through the drive to the scene of the fire. ( She had to sit beside Jared the whole time because the chief’s truck was in the shop. Jack and Alan found this amusing.) At the scene they get things going but this fire has gotten a head start and they have a battle to fight. She and Dave are manning a hose while yelling orders now and again to the others. Alan and Jack are manning another hose, while Jared is whacking windows and knock out doors.

Dayton see him suddenly throw aside whatever tool he is using and dash to the truck and disappear. She hates him even more and labels him a coward. Moments later she see someone ( she thinks it is Laura) run back into the fire. She yells at ”the boys” to be ready to help.

Just then the pumper truck runs out of water. She and Dave rush the hose to the other nearest hydrant and keep spraying. Alan yells something but she ignores him, since he as a tendency to yell out stuff to Jack and Laura.

All this time Dayton has been burning with rage at Jared and planning how she would punish him.

At the moment when she seals off her heart against him and God and her Mom and everyone who would be the people who would turn back in the face of danger and allow such things to happen, the one side of the house caves in. Jack and Alan both yell really loud but she can;t make out what they said.

Another truck and crew from another county arrive and together they put out the fire. Dayton was in the act of calling off her crew when Alan and Jack came running with two boys, who turn out to be Shane and Jaden. She immediately takes a roll call. The bombshell falls when Laura, Dave, Jack, Alan—all but Jared respond. Jared was killed in the fire, saving her two boys who were hanging with friends in that house. Their friends escaped, but they didn’t even know there was danger until it was almost too late. The story end with her stand there, gazing at the flames as they devour the house.

 

Critique heartlessly! I am asking you to! 🙂 I am in the process of actually writing the story and I would post it in here, but the rules say that your are not allowed to have previously published it anywhere online.