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  • Beth replied to the topic The Four Rebels chapter 2 in the forum Fantasy Writers 6 years, 6 months ago

    Hey!

    I really liked it! I liked how you choose Latin to be the ‘secret’ language!

    Just a few things I noticed, mostly like the first chapter.

    I stuffed that in my bag and took of running. You obviously meant off lol!

    5.23, 5.22. I wished the timer would shut off, but I knew it would be the only thing that would help me survive. I took off running, silently listening to the timer and carefully staying hidden in the shadows.

    And then you said she took off running twice!

    I was almost to the birch tree when the explosion nearly pushed me to my knees. I stumbled but kept running. It would be worst in a second if I wasn’t past the tree. With a sickening thought I realized it was seconds. My breath quickened. 0.03, 0.02, 0.01, 0.00. Then a thundering explosion sounded and threw me to the ground.

    Just a little confusing that an explosion happened twice! haha

    Those were the only things I caught! Good job!

    -Beth

    P.S. Did you ever find my story? lol

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