I sorta like the first one the best. I find that sometimes if your character is doing too much in one sentence, it sorta detracts from the rest of the sentence. (I’m not like a superb writing by any means, but just something I thought of as I read your bits of story above.) But both are good, so either one works fine! 🙂

I think the first one is best. I think it’s more smooth if you put some action after what the character is saying. In my opinion, it runs better. 😁

I think the first one is smoother, but it slows things down. If you’re going for a chaotic feel, I think the second one is better.

Thanks you guys!
@olivia @millennium @emily-maynard @eitan

Personally, I like the first one better because it seems to flow better, but either one would work fine 🙂

Yup, your welcome! 🙂