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Ariella Newheart replied to the topic Summary of a WIP in the forum Critiques 6 years, 10 months ago
@anne_the_noob14 Okay, I would suggest making your summary a little more ambiguous. You state up-front that Kiel and Hazel and their acquaintances overthrow a tyrant king, but that sort of ruins the story by telling the readers that everything will be okay in the end, no matter what happens along the way. Adding an element of mystery raises the stakes. Will Kiel and Hazel succeed in overthrowing the tyrant? What sacrifices will they have to make along the way?
Also, you never say why they must find the talisman and why Kiel decides to build the time machine. What are the characters’ motivations? Is the talisman important somehow? Do they need to retrieve it from the hands of an enemy? Does it have magic powers or the ability to heal? Does Kiel hope to go back in time to change the past? If so, why?
In your summary, I’d suggest asking some of these questions but not overtly stating the answers. It will make readers curious and want to find out more.
Omw there is a HUGE wasp sitting on top of my computer… Idk how he got in ahhhhhhh
Agh, I don’t like wasps. >.<












