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Hello, Guild! 😀

So, I apologize, I haven’t been super active lately, but I thought I’d go ahead and try putting this up here in case it would interest people and someone had the time. I’ll just put up the first section since critiques are supposed to be short 🙂 Right now, I have a pretty long critiquing cue, so I can’t critique any work in return at the moment, but I’d be glad to put your name down for the future. I critique once a week, so I WILL get to you eventually. 😉 Just let me know if you have something!

Okay, so quick explains:

Story Overview: This is a story about Shadow from the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom. So, genre is clean furry/retelling/fanfiction/fantasy. For anyone who know Sonic canon, my version is very AU, but it’s based most off of SatAM and Archie canons. This story is specifically about Shadow’s origins, and out of all the characters, I’ve revamped his background the most. So fair warning to any Shadow fans, this is going to be very different than canon Shadow origins.

Synopsis:

There was another brother, before the rebel Ringweilder of Planet Marto, Sonic, was born.  Another brother, back in another life. A brother who was named “hate” and promised power.

That’s all he was in the beginning. A shadow, the unseen other half of his younger brother, defined by everything he was denied. That is, that’s all he was before Maria. Before the New Utopia of Robotropolis, before the experiments, before everything that led him up to that night when the Doctor put shards of the most powerful object in the entire planet into his heart.

He changed then. But this is not that story. This is the story of the Before.

(Feel free to critique this too btw! XD)

What I’m Looking for: Mweeehhh… *curls up* General affirmation and thoughts. *jk* But seriously, I’m still writing this and would just really like another pair of eyes to see things I’m probably missing. So, for this opening section, is it a good opening? Does it make you curious? How long does it take you (if ever) to connect to the characters and story? Is the prose clear? Are you catching any of the themes and symbols? Are you confused? Would you like to continue reading, and if so, I may update the doc more. Please feel free to response below or comment directly on the doc. 🙂

WARNINGS: I guess this is a dark story, ya’ll. It’s entirely from all the villain’s perspectives from beginning to end (EXCEPT for MY BABY MARIA <3 Who is still with the baddies, but is the only true ray of awesome beauty in this whole thing). My hope in all this, of course, is to bring redemption further on down the series, but for this leg of the journey…eh, yeah. Compared to, like secular dark, I’d call this middle grade redeemed dark, if that makes sense? That’s the goal anyway. Violence-– things happen and I describe them swiftly, but accurately. I try not to linger on them, but it may be disturbing to some, so just a heads up. Adult Subjects— a lot of sexual subjects implied, especially with Shadow’s father and in the opening scene. Nothing is shown. I would definitely recommend for middle/older teen readers and up. Language –Shadow’s father has some strong words now and then. There is no outright cursing or taking the Lord’s Name in vain. . Spiritual Darkness and Magic– This is fantasy, so there’s a lot of interesting cool scientific laws to this universe that we don’t have in ours, but I try to avoid magic. There’s no spells or rituals or stuff like that. There are some creatures in here called the Burraku Mors that are…they are not really demons…they are a separate race…but at the same time they do sort of represent spiritual darkness and evil and forbidden power.

So, if anyone is still interested XD, here’s the link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gkt9AiF6U560EmeBzCfvJt6iftw-HrmFkkTHNXGmnCo/edit?usp=sharing