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  • Livi Ryddle posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    @ariella-newheart
    YOU’RE KILLING ME, ARIELLA!!!! *cries*
    I just finished it… and EEEESSSSHHH IT’S SO GOOD D’:
    Ok! So as you’ve seen, I’ve left some comments on the doc, albeit mostly consisting of distressed fangirling 😛 SO! Here’s my thoughts.
    First off, I LOVE your characters. You have very strong characters, and Ari is very relatable in many ways. Character development is strong, and emotions are ON. POINT. Le’see… what else… *nods* Yeah. The way you foreshadow things is awesome. You leave us little hints and bits of stuff along the way, and then when something comes up it’s like “YEAH DUH CAUSE SUCH-AND-SUCH HAPPENED.” And the way you’re tying things together, and are putting it together is beautiful. Reminds me of a tapestry that you’re slowly adding threads to, and I can see a design forming, but there aren’t enough threads there yet for me to tell what it is.
    I love how you add hardships in without it seeming like something else bad happens in every chapter, and also without it seeming like there’s only one bad thing that happens in the whole book (I am guilty of both of those). Very nice balance of pain/sorrow and happiness/hope. *nodnod*
    (fangirling proceeds to take over)
    AND WHERE ARE HER FRIENDS??? *is worried sick* XD
    I SHIP HER AND ADRIAN
    BUT ALSO WHERE’S RENDON D:
    IF YOU KILL ADRIAN, I’M- *incoherent spluttering*
    I honestly kinda like that guy at the end who was talking to her about the dragon’s age. I still think he’s a bad guy? But I like him. As far as bad guys go, he’s my favorite.
    And Merek!!! He’s awesome!!
    So yeah! *nods* Any specific questions for me? I hope that was helpful! And thank you so much for letting me read it!! *can’t wait for the others, if you let me read those as well*

    (Oh, btw, I would love to beta-read (or just read) the rest of the series, but if I’ve got a deadline, it may be hard. Hopefully, I’ll be doing dual-credit this fall. So yeah. *nods*)

    (One more note! I think she should remember her friends (Cadenza and them) further on in the book. Cause I had all but forgotten about them myself. Then when I was making the comment about Adrian and her on the doc, I remembered Rendon and went “Where’d they go? Why hasn’t she thought about them any?” I get that she’s otherwise occupied, but I think she should at least spare them a little thought, if not just for the sake of reminding the readers there’s still that to work out.)

    • @anne_the_noob14 AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I do have a few questions!

      First, did you notice any useless side plots or rabbit trails that I could potentially eliminate, or did all of them help strengthen the main plot? Second, do you have any predictions/thoughts regarding the foreshadowing about Ariella’s identity and origin?

      Regarding that last note, thank you for bringing that up. I will definitely make some edits. Originally I had more mentions of them, but I took a lot of them out since I was scared of dwelling on them too much.

      Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read and edit! I’m currently editing book two, and I would love for you to beta-read once I’m done. 😀

      • 😀 😀

        Hmm… Not really. If there were any, they obviously didn’t stand out to me lol. Let me think… Yeah, I think they were all strengthening!

        Predictions and thoughts… oh gee. Let me see. I forget if I said this specifically earlier, but I really like how you keep throwing more and more little tiny pieces of where she’s from and all. That was very nice. Now, if I had to predict what the heck is going on with Ari and the sun mark on her arm and the matching mark on what’s his name, Merek? I don’t know if I’d be able to make any prediction worth much at this point. I’m trying to think about the prologue and match things up to that, and I’m failing pretty miserably XD I think if I was to make a list of everything I know so far of much importance, like names and places and items and things, I could probably come up with something, but at the moment I got nothin’ 😛 But lemme try and take a wild guess, since you asked XD

        What do we know so far?
        Well, we have the baby at the beginning. That’s gonna be Rendon. Then we have this whole mess with Orin and how he’s not actually Ari’s brother. There’s the dagger at the beginning that I’m 80% certain is the one Ari gave Orin that was with that spyglass. Ari has a birthmark or something in the shape of a sun, that I’m pretty sure matches the necklace that Krystal has, and matches the insignia or whatever that Merek has on his clothes. Ari is a half-elf, Adrian is gonna be pivotal, we still dunno if Orin actually died or not, and the dragons took Ari’s friends. The people in black took her aunt and uncle. Then there’s the healer lady who’s an elf who got “kicked out” for some reason, and she knows things. We think Ari might be a princess or something, I believe. Oh yeah, and the people who are worshiping the dragon statue.*confused humming*
        Yeah, I honestly have no clue XD

        *nods* I getcha. And yeah, don’t dwell on them too much, cause like I mentioned, she’s got other stuff on the mind. But definitely a few more mentions. 🙂

        You are so welcome!! I had so much fun reading it XD And YAY!!! 😀 😀 😀

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