Tornado winds raged when I was here last.
Your fingers ran through my hair
the strands the storm had tangled.
I wondered how long before I felt that safety again.
I left that home,
the ocean tide calling me;
its waves louder than winds.
They held more heartbreak than hurricanes,
and I wondered again
if even your arms
would still hold the same safety.
Home does not wield the armor of heaven,
and four walls are no fortress.
wind seeps below the door
and catches my breath.
It leaves my lungs tight
and my heart pounding.
My skin crawls with an ache
that I, in turn, ache to silence,
and the whispering wind
haunts my every heartbeat.
But if it were to whisper,
“Tell me of your home,”
I would whisper back
that, for starters, it has two arms;
for the middle, it smells like love;
and for the ending,
it is the safest thing on earth I know.
This is home,
my shield and safeguard,
even if not forever.
This is here and this is now.
I’d forgotten how homesick I was.
Fingers running through my hair
and a shoulder strong enough
to hold my heartache,
to ward off the wind.
This is not heaven.
But for a little while, I can rest here.
I will rise again to face
a world I never could before.
Whatever storm is yet to come,
I’d welcome every surging wind
if I could forget
the meaning of being homesick.
Cindy Green is a forest-wandering, poetry-scribbling stargazer with messy notebooks and messy thoughts. Despite her love for all of God’s creation, sunflowers and stars in particular have a way of sneaking into both her writing and her heart (but you won’t hear her complaining about it). She is an amateur sword-wielder with a Highland-dancing warrior spirit who also writes letters to the moon and considers the sky her best friend. A focused daydreamer, organized pack rat, and oblivious observer, she is a self-professing ambivert (or a living contradiction) who deeply feels both the beauty and fallen state of the world. Through her words, she hopes to describe the indescribable and form personal connections with people while reflecting a love for her Savior and a passion for everything she touches.