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Aydin

“Leaghadh,” Rúan corrected with a quirk of his lips. “It is hard to pronounce if you are not raised with the Kindran language. It took me while to master it.”

Certainly it was. I had no idea where to begin on it and spelling it would be an entire seperate nightmare.

He sheathed his sword, thank goodness.

“And yes, it is supposed to glow red. It should when in the presence of its maker’s bloodline.”

I had no idea what he meant and at this point I was afraid to ask.

(Author’s note: It has happened. I have quoted a meme in my writing. I couldn’t resist. I am entirely guilty.)

He stiffened, staring into the distance as a look of dread washed over him. Oh, no. I knew that feeling. It had happened to me less than an hour ago.

What was I supposed to do? I hated being touched while it was happening but Liorah always wanted to be and I didn’t know Rúan at all.

I decided to stick with something that couldn’t do harm either way.

“Rúan. Don’t think about it. You can’t change it,” I said, so quietly the others couldn’t hear. It was incredibly embarrassing, especially among strangers. I didn’t want to add shame to his panic.

I didn’t want to make this worse for him. He didn’t seem to hear me, but I didn’t mind. Someone talking often helped.

“I know you can’t forget but try to think of something else, just for now,” I said. I didn’t get too close to him, in case he saw me as hostile, but I didn’t go away.

Slowly, the light came back to his eyes, but the panic and pain didn’t go away. He was pale and trembling, and I knew he was probably feeling as sick and dizzy as I usually did.

“Mother … Yulenna … Osløn …” his voice quavered, and I heard the guilt echoing through it.

“It’s not your fault, you were doing your best. You can’t change it, don’t make yourself suffer,” I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them. Who was I talking to, me or him? But it was different for me. I should have done better.

He slowly seemed to come back to earth, though I didn’t think he registered what I had said.

I slowly got up, careful not to startle him. I was getting stiff and it was becoming increasingly harder to stay alert. I had to stay alert.

I paced back and forth, listening to a soft humming in the walls. I had no idea what it was. It sounded… foreign. Alien.

It made me uneasy enough to stay awake. Yila was watching me with overwhelming hostility, her gaze tracking me.

Of all the things, the one that I hated most was that I was adopting one of Liorah’s obnoxious habits. Next I would start challenging everyone who mildly annoyed me and threatening people far more dangerous than I was for absolutely no reason except defiance of the natural law of self-preservation.

(Author’s note: Aydin summarized Liorah better than I ever have.)

It might have been several hours of mind-numbing anticipation, then something crackled, loud enough that it could mean problems. I hesitated, I didn’t want to wake Niarok until it was absolutely necessary, but Yila was already getting ready to wake him.

I strode over and touched his shoulder.

“Niarok, nothing’s wrong yet but something might be coming.”

The reassurance didn’t seem to help much. He shot up, instantly alert. Slowly, he registered what I’d said and looked around sleepily. I was glad he’d at least gotten a few hours of sleep. He still looked tired but at this point who wasn’t.

“What is it?” He asked.

Yila was looking ten varieties of furious at me which had only been paralleled by Liorah.

“The castle crackled,” I said.

Yila rolled her eyes like she hadn’t been about to wake him herself.

It crackled again and I backed away, somewhere I could get my back against a wall. Something about it made me feel extremely uneasy, like something was about to pounce out of the shadows.

“I’ve been thinking about the next challenge, and it occured to me that several of you are particularly well suited to it. Our resident assassins.”

Plural? I knew about Lorcan, but who– A cold chill swept through me, making me shudder and press my back tighter against the wall.

It knew. It knew about me. Now everyone else would know about me and the delicate trust I’d started to form would snap and turn into hatred. I was so tired of being hated. Would Niarok hate me? He would. He was kind above all, he would hate what I had been and what I had done.

I hadn’t been able to keep my left hand steady since the ‘accident’ but now it was trembling worse than ever. It was hidden by my cloak but what if I’d paled? What if the others noticed it? I might be able to bluff my way through it but what if–

“In fact, we have three,” the castle continued, with that metallic, sadistic voice.

Three?

“Lorcan–”

Of course.

“Niarok–”

Wait, what?

“And Siya Aydin.”

Sudden sharp fury cut through the fear and confusion. It had no right to know this, it had no right to tell everyone else.

“Don’t ever call me that again,” I said, my voice harsh for the first time. I’d been afraid I had been speaking too quietly before but that wasn’t a problem anymore. I was furious. I scowled at one of the castle walls as though it was something tangible I could attack.

I had decieved, betrayed, sacrificed and suffered more than I thought I could endure to be rid of that title. I wouldn’t let anyone use it again. I had given my life’s blood to put that behind me. How dare it bring it up?

I refused to look at Niarok or anyone else. I stared straight at the floor, refusing to look at anyone and trying to disappear. I would still be at home with everyone I’d cared about if I hadn’t decided to betray them. All for what? Principles? Morals? Who knew if I had either. I was faithless, cowardly, and now useless.

They would hate me and I would deserve it.