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@obrian-of-the-surface-world

You’re welcome!

Thank you so much for your feedback! It’s really helpful for me, especially since sci-fi is an unfamiliar genre for the hopeless fantasy nut. 😊

Marian and Jake (at least for now) were in a relationship in the past, but Jake had been hiding his illegal lifestyle from her and when she found out she ended the relationship. But she still is attracted to Jake because he was the first human man who ever treated her with honor and respect after she was exiled from her home planet. She also knew Fabian because he was a bit of a third wheel, and they remained friends after Jake and she broke up. Also, Jake still likes Marian and he’s a bit bitter about them breaking up.

Marian and the enforcers arrived so soon because they were told Jake would be there. they had the location of Fabian and there was a tracker planted on the ship Jake used to get here.

Fabian was ready to release Jake because he didn’t recognize Jake until he saw Jake outside his hut. then he realized Jake could help him with his plan to transform himself back into a human form. (the phial contains a chemical that makes this possible, and Pagos is one of the only places it can be processed easily)

I was thinking that something to provide background on Marian might help, but I was concerned about sacrificing word count. do you think it’s alright to sacrifice some word count?

Thank you for pointing out the problem with the suit! Maybe the visor should have a reactive lens like those glasses that are regular glasses indoors and then sunglasses outside (whatever they’re called)?

@this-is-not-an-ailien

My first fan?! I’m honored!!! I’m so happy you liked it!😁

Also… I never said Fabian died, it’s Jake’s assumptions😉. And I want to know what happens next as much as you!

And Jake’s wondering if all the attention goes to Fabian or does he get some of the fandom as well?