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Wow Rose, you are fantastic at giving spot on writing advice! I love the concept of describing individual people and things to help show the larger picture, I will try to utilize that technique more in the future. Absolutely agree with the -ing verbs tip, I’ll work on that.

I was also leaning against using direct thought. I had been using it early in my chapters to start them off with a further physic distance, and then moving into indirect thought, but I’m not convinced that is necessary.