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@this-is-not-an-alien

Thank you! <3 It’s the first picture I’ve ‘finished’ on my fairly new drawing studio. The tones for the skin were actually…something I spent months on banging my head and writhing in despair lol. But the different colors blending to get that sorta-sheen is actually an overlay layer feature which I applied to the lips and eyes as well. I spent years thinking it was a particular technique! Turns out it’s a brush/layer thing! (There are a lot of layer features on my Corel Painter Essentials 5 program *happy sigh* my mom got it for me for Christmas)

Yes!! Overlay is the awesomest! It’s soo much better than *shudders* multiply. Multiply leaves everything nasty and muddy. I often flip through the layers to try to figure out what will get me the effect I need.

(Hint, if you put it to soft light and use an airbrush and a deep purple/indigo color, you can get lovely shadows.)

Oh, quick tip, if you use pale pink for highlights and teal/aqua for the shadows, you get a lovely opalescent/pearly effect and it’s just so pretty and I’m using it on everything. 

Generally, my thought process for picking colors is something like “ooh… shiny… sparkly… glowy… pretttyyy!” LOL

I murdered myself with it I’m totally never drawing like that again (lol I’ve already started another project).
But your paints are pretty fantastic too ya’know! My favorite I think was the profile pic right before your’s now, the one with the silky white hair…well actually the one of Rosario you did was pretty epic…or Ehud. Nevermind I can’t decide on a favorite XD.

Thank you! <3 I’m still really happy with those! And the “I’m never doing that again, whoops, I already started another” is waayy too relatable XD

Oh.
I just found a picture of Meira and her OTP

LOL! It’s so cute! I love how she’s just all happy and sparkly and the other one is like 0-0 XD

Chantara

I took a deep breath, then another, forcing myself to calm down. I had to breathe. I couldn’t cry now. I shouldn’t have screamed. Shouldn’t have.

Breathe.

It was so dark. My arm hurt. The hard leather holding my knives cut into me, enclosing me like I bore my own cage.

Breathe.

Think about something else. I couldn’t think about the warm, watery blood covering my fingertips or the slickness of my knife. The sound Þorunn had made when I drove my knife through her wrist.

My stomach twisted.

How could I have done that? The tenth time hurt as much as the first. When would it stop hurting?

I hadn’t even had any good reason, I had just started strangling her. She couldn’t have deserved that, nobody deserved something this terrible. I loathed myself.

I gritted my teeth, the burn of tears in my eyes. I rolled onto my wounded shoulder, crushing it into the floor. I barely stifled a sob as the pain flamed through me and scarlet swam before my eyes. I almost relished the pain.

Something else. Anything.

Aydin. Why did my mind jump to him first? I forced myself to picture him. I imagined him in his workshop, flipping through his notes, comparing the color of two viles, or extracting the poison from plants.

It was easier to breathe now.

I wiped away the few tears, disgust pulsing through me. I shouldn’t have cried. Crying was weak, and I couldn’t be weak.

I let my breath slip into a rhythm, concentrating on my heartbeat. I hadn’t died. Now I needed to move on.

If anyone attacked me now, I would die. I needed to fix this shoulder.

I tried to remember what I’d been taught about injuries. Most of it circled around not dying for long enough to get help.

Here, there wasn’t help. Unless you counted Karayan. He knew what he was doing but I wouldn’t crawl to him for help. I couldn’t need him.

I knew how to tie up wounds, how to splint a bone until you could get it set, and how to stitch something that wouldn’t stop bleeding. I didn’t know how to fix a dislocated shoulder. I’d have to guess.

I needed to figure out the damage first.

I had heard a crack when Þorunn threw me. That might just have been a crack, or it might have been my elbow snapping.

I gently touched it. No searing pain roared through me. That was good. I carefully bent it. There was a dim, dull ache, but it was nothing compared to the agony in my shoulder. It might be bruised or strained, but it didn’t seem broken.

An involuntary sigh escaped me. At least I had a chance of remaining with the Siya.

Now for the shoulder. The doorframe had a sharp, wide corner. I positioned myself against it and closed my eyes, brow creasing in concentration.

I pushed my shoulder back against it, simultaneously pulling on my arm. The pain throbbed through my arm, tingling in my fingertips. It burned through each of my veins, tracing singed patterns along my skin, and bored into my marrow.

More tears came to my eyes, and I couldn’t suppress a pathetic whine, like earlier. I finally let go, waiting for the blotches of light to fade.

Help me. Someone, anyone. I don’t want to be alone. I’m scared.

No.

You’re alone. Pull yourself together. You don’t need them. You pick yourself up, wipe your own tears and move on. Nobody will help you.

You grabbed your wrist, pulling and pushing with all your might, throwing your small frame into the battle against yourself. You’d win. You’re your most dangerous opponent, but you’d win.

It slipped back. Fading pain. Finally. You couldn’t take more, could you? You know you’re smaller than you think.

I know you’re small. I know you’re scared. You can’t be.

You have to keep breathing. You have no choice.

__________

*Rereading this* Where the actual heck did that second-person part come from? That isn’t me! I actually think it’s Chantara’s inner critical voice.

Anyway… so… that was weird. Chantara is seriously messed up. XD She’s immensely fun to write!