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Hello. How are you all?

I could write a novel here just getting to know me and my story of hurt. Well, I’m goofy and laid back and isolating alone with just my two fury girls and it’s been super hard. A lot of ugly crying to God while in the tub of all places. I fell in love with Jeus August 2015 the same year I suddenly lost my husband after being together for 17yrs. I’m learning Sign Language and it’s super hard since I don’t have anyone around me that’s deaf but there’s a little boy I see when I brave the venture home to my small unsaved family.

Writing had always been my escape throughout my teen years and 20s and then I learned knitting and that consumed my time. Somewhere in the mess of time I wrote pbp, play by post role-playing on message boards (ezboards) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was the only sort of writing I was doing despite being haunted by specifically an old character that went by “Secret”. The other characters were mostly quiet but she haunted my dreams and felt her in them. Then Nanowrimo 2019 I bravely dared myself to write 35K because I had other things going on then, and to see if I “could” still write… If it was still in me. I made my goal with plenty of days to spare. I was and am still over the moon as it was the only time I sort of won that challenge in my mind.

Last year I was planning to do it, was outlining on cue cards but got into a heavy devotional study with a small group here and I had to drop that task. I tell you it happened for a reason! And Covid reached the one year mark and I lost a little more sanity. I don’t know if it was me, the Spirit but I just made a Facebook post confessing some issues, mental hang ups I have with writing what I always wrote and be Christian. I spoke with a Christian Writing/life coach and it sort of gave me the nudge, the permission to go forwards. The characters, the world I’ve had since I was a teen has always been there, in the back of my head like a nugget that would never fade. Now Christian I want to explore the world, that’s never had religion or good vs evil in it – avoided it like the plague! I feel compelled to go down the rabbit of hole of a 490yr old vampire “Secret” coming to faith after certain events and how this all would play out.

Similar to when I did Nanowrimo I feel I’m letting Him flow through me as I write. The “rest” is working when normally in my life it’s quite hard to achieve. Thank you, mental health! I’ve been doing a lot of background, world & character structure and journaling realizing things about myself and wanting/needing to belong especially in these times alone. How much prep can one do before you work yourself into a tizzy and not able to write? It feels like a super fine line. And I have a creeping feeling of a new story, character(s) to explore. So I should write that down right?

That’s pretty much where I am now as I type this. Eager to find this place, forum of Christian writers and is impatient to meet and make new contacts and friends.

Thank you for your patience. God bless you and your writing.
Tanya