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@joelle-stone

Thanks for critiquing!  I probably won’t be able to return the favor – the semester is wrapping up and my teachers saw fit to drown me in projects – but I’ll reply to some of your annotations.

Or maybe Nadia is just the observative/I’m-calm-in-any-situation type.

She is, that’s part of why there’s no frenzied thoughts in this scene.  She’s got a knack for distancing herself from her fear and ignoring it, and similarly she can separate herself from her thoughts.  Sort of like forcing yourself to be an outside observer of your own mind; it’s a bit tricky and it’s not a common thing many can do, it’s just one of the gifts she was unknowingly born with thanks to the heritage she has no idea about.  🙂

(again, nice vocabulary!)

Thanks, I have meticulously cultivated quite the sesquipedalian vernacular (and I’m sorry if you have to google some of those words).  Machicolations are actually vital to this scene because ordinarily if someone climbed the walls they would have to stop when they reached the overhang of the ramparts and there’d be nowhere to go but down.  Machicolations are openings in the base of the ramparts, so there is a sort of trapdoor (without the door) kind of space for Ada and Nadia to climb up through onto the battlements.

(Maybe add some more…

I’ll do that when I get the chance, thanks for the advice!

I don’t see a lot of internal character thoughts. 

That’s related to what I was saying about Nadia separating herself from her thoughts.  It is written in a third person omniscient perspective (sorta), but I handle it differently for different characters (Brendin often has introspective flashbacks, Lady Warin has suspicions she keeps to herself, etc) and in Nadia’s particular case she is often removed from her thoughts when focusing on a task, so Nadia’s thoughts will only be apparent in times where she is more relaxed.  I hope that made sense.

Thanks again for the critique, I’ll try to get around to doing more on this thread after I finish all of my projects.  🙂