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Rose replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 5 years, 8 months ago
“N-no,” His voice cracked. “I’m not going, you can’t make me! I’m not going I’m not going!”
He fought my grip harder than he ever had before but I wasn’t giving in. He deserved much better than me, and he was young enough, vibrant enough, he’d recover. He might always miss me but he’d recover.
“You can’t make me! Please!” Ehud grabbed the rails, clinging so hard I had to pry his fingers off to get him to move. Only ever so often did he ever actually sob hysterically, but now he breath comes in and out in sharp gasps sharp enough no se lo how he could be breathing. “Rosy!”Oooohhh! That physically hurt me, *More sobbing*
“Te adoro, Ehudita.” I could hear the rasp in my own inaudible voice, maybe even a fog in my eye no se lo. “Quiero andar contigo.” (I want to date you.)
When I read this the first time, I literally squealed. Out loud. I love it!!!
It might just be me, but is she mixing in more Spanish now she’s upset? It works really well as an indicator that she’s upset, it makes her thoughts seem more frantic and disorganized. I like it!
That entire post was brilliant! I love it!!
Liorah
I was still seething at the castle. My head throbbed with a combination of relief, anger, and adrenaline. It was a deep, throbbing ache, settled deep. It would take hours to go away, I knew from experience.
Gavril was laughing, of all things. I didn’t know whether to yell at him for being stupid enough to stay in the first place or to hug him because I was so deliriously happy he was alright.
My knees were shaking and I was grateful that there was a railing nearby. I grabbed it, trying to steady myself. I took a deep breath, then another. I let my fingers trail over the knots in the tassels. One, two, three, four, five.
Gavril laid a hand on my arm.
“It’s alright now,” he said,
“Idiot,” I huffed,
Gavril smiled.
“Love you too.”
I relaxed and tried to smile, but it felt horribly fake. I wouldn’t have to live without him. He was here. I could relax.
Exhaustion dragged at me, but I didn’t give in to it. We had to keep moving. As the castle had just proved, nowhere was safe.
“It’s got wires. Those might count as intestines of a form,” Ruby five said. I still didn’t know his name. Or wait… Klein. It had been the only name I couldn’t place in Gavril’s list of people who would stay behind.
Ehud looked around, distraught. He was crying, like most of us. Riure was on the ground, her dog slobbering her with happy kisses. Gwen was dazed, but apparently alright. Everyone seemed to be accounted for.
Klein took off his helmet, quieting the flashing red light. His eyes were an odd color, even brighter gold than mine. They reminded me faintly of a desert lion’s. Seemingly embarrassed, he looked down, then put on his helmet again.
“I don’t care if it’s wires, intestines, or well-organized goats,” I said, savagely. “I’m going to rip it out and strangle either this castle or if that proves impossible, every sadistic idiot who ever had the misfortune of being in any way involved with it.”
“I’ll get the door,” Klein said. He drew his weapon and stepped inside. An ominous clank replaced the sound of his footstep. Curious, I trailed in after him. Gavril sighed, exaggeratedly, then followed, hand hovering near his sword.
Lights flickered on. It was a large room, the walls and floor smoother than the rest. One side was crumpled. Whatever had caused that, I wanted to stay as far away from it as possible.
“What is this place?” I asked, not even expecting an answer. More likely than not, nobody knew.
Judging by the loud clank of Gavril’s boots, it was metal. The others trickled in after us, their footsteps rattling on the metal. My steps were muffled, and I remembered I was still clutching my scuffed boots in one hand.
Klein was muttering to himself, working on a panel. He quickly became frustrated and banged against the panel. I grinned. That was a familiar feeling. I was glad there was someone else with a lower-than-usual tolerance for frustration.
I bent over, pulling on one boot. The floor seemed to shift beneath me, and my organs felt as though they were somehow drifting upward. It felt rather like falling upward. It was easily the oddest sensation I’d ever experienced.
“What in the eternal–?” I promptly fell over my own feet and they slid out from under me. I braced myself, expecting to sprawl on the floor gracelessly. Instead, I just… floated, not hitting the ground.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Gavril asked, his voice laced with panic. I tried to turn around, only to find myself lost in air that seemed lighter than usual. My other boot had drifted out of my grasp, and I grabbed at it, only to have it drift further away.
“Working on it!” Klein yelled.
“Well, that’s comforting. I certainly feel a lot better now,” I yelled back, frustrated. I had no idea what was going on, but I did know that I was unable to move as usual, so it would be impossible to defend myself in case of another attack. If the castle decided to send anything against us, we’d be defenseless.
“Don’t flail your arms. It only makes it worse,” Klein said.
“Worse? Worse!? All we need is something to get worse! We’re pretty much on the far end of the spectrum of awfulness, and I don’t believe worse is something we should even imagine,” I said, sarcastically.
My foot brushed against the ground and I scrabbled for a foothold. It had the opposite effect, and I drifted upward. That gave me an idea. If I could do that once, I could do it again. Perhaps that meant I could steer, somehow. I waited until I’d floated close to the ceiling, then pushed off so I drifted back towards the others. That seemed to work. I breathed out, trying to calm down.
I had far more urgent matters to attend to. My boot, for example. I grabbed hold of the railing so I could spin around. Gavril had done the same, but he was gripping the rail with white-knuckled intensity. I spotted my stray boot drifting some way off and pushed off toward it.
I soared upward, weightless. A giggle bubbled out. This probably wasn’t supposed to be this fun. I grabbed the boot and twirled around, returning to Gavril. He was glaring at me as though he thought I had about the same intelligence as the average shrub. I grinned.
“Intruder! Intruder!” A metallic voice blared.
My good mood evaporated.
“You have got to be kidding!” Gavril said, through gritted teeth.
“I just got word the spectrum of awfulness has expanded to allow for more possibilities,” I said, gloomily.
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Umm…. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I didn’t expect Liorah to be floating around happily, chasing after a boot and joking about the awfulness of the situation. She keeps surprising me XD












