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@daeus-lamb Having read a previous draft, this sounds like a blurb for the second or third book in the series, not what I read. Unless you’ve changed the book in character, tone, and content to be at least three or four times more Mistborn-ish, I don’t see this actually describing the story.

As far as its job selling the reader, I find it pretty hard to follow, and I think that’s mostly because of the punctuation. The heavy use of sentence fragments feels like a car jerking forward in traffic two or three feet at a time.

If I had a single suggestion, it would be to truncate that last paragraph into “Then let me tell you the story of how the monsters I fought bore my own face.”

My reasoning is the blurb is striking and intense, getting us effectively into Exton’s head, but the intensity plummets as we rattle off three companions with only serial adjectives building them up. Compared to Exton’s fire, that’s a very mild way to leave the blurb, when I assume we want the reader to passionately spam that 1-click-buy button.