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@rose-colored-fancy

Glad I could help!  I meant to add in some tips, but I guess I forgot.  Here’s a few:

• Use thoughts sparingly.  Focus on the physical sensations; this puts the reader in the body of the character and helps them feel just as overwhelmed.
• Shock varies from person to person, but it is typically somewhat delayed in onset and rushes all at once.
• If you have had experience with shock and grief, try to draw from those.  See if you can remember what you felt like; was it hard to breathe?  Was your head spinning?  Did tears make it difficult to see?  Try to incorporate that into your character’s experience.