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@katja-r

I like Rydel a lot, and Selena too! She seems like the typical annoying older sister 😀 Great job with the character development and with connecting the first two chapters with this one. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

“Sisters! She always thinks she’s so much more important than me. Just because she’s 10 months older than me.” 

You’ll want to italicize all of this since they’re his thoughts.

“She enjoyed rubbing in the fact that she was older than me.”

Just a suggestion, but I think you could leave this out since you already implied this in his thoughts and in her words to him.

“I would have beat her up all the time, but I would have gotten [get] in huge trouble for it.”

“The town of Kalklyna. They…they were destroyed.”–should be “It was destroyed”

“Dad was right [.] [W]e barely knew anything about the rebellion.”

“[When] the next meeting that happens, your mother and I will discuss the possibility of you attending.”

“We all were deep in thought when a knock at the door startled us all.” –take out one of the all’s.

“I had remembered Ranwick faintly.”

“I sighed, I wished [wishing] I could take part of the rebellion.”

“If I had been thinking more than dreaming, I would have wondered how she got in my dream.”

Once again, just my suggestion, but you could take this out and rouse the reader’s curiosity more.

“Then the girl that had showed up in my dream popped into my head.”

I feel like it might be better to clarify that these are his thoughts. Maybe something like, “Then my thoughts turned to the girl that had showed up in my dream.”

“Braxton tells [told] us that before the city was destroyed Cavensburg’s best army commander was shot.”

“When the girl shot him, he didn’t die right away. He waited until she left and he was able to contact Cavensburg’s headquarters to let them know about this girl before he died.”

Again, this is just my opinion, but it feels a little awkward the way this is constructed. Here’s my suggestion to make it sound better, but of course, you don’t have to use it!

“The girl shot him, but only fatally wounded him. After she fled, he was able to contact Cavensburg’s headquarters to let them know about the girl before he died.”

“How could I have had a dream about someone I never met?”–should be a question mark at the end of the sentence, not a period