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@the-inkspiller

I hope that by now you’ve found a bit of comfort, or understanding, but I still wanted to offer a word of encouragement–I hope.

I’m really sorry that you’re going through a difficult time, but also, it’s “okay” to have those moments. Not that it makes the tough times any less tough at ALL, but know that everyone experiences some form of doubt, fear, guilt, shame, etc., and it’s not your fault for feeling that way.

Speaking of feelings, I’ve also struggled with feeling apathetic, and I’ve often wondered, “Is something wrong with me?” But I think, for many of us, the reality is much different. It may be a sign that we feel a little too much, and we’ve overtaxed our emotions to a point where we go numb. I could be wrong, but it definitely seems accurate these days.

A while back, I was really struggling at night with fear, and an overwhelming feeling of darkness. During the day I was fine, but at night I experienced a lot of terror, and doubts about myself. For weeks I would dread turning off the lights when it was time to sleep–until one night I had an epiphany. Although, it wasn’t a new thought, in fact, it was a truth I thought I’d always understood–until I realized I didn’t. Suddenly, the image of the empty tomb, where Jesus was laid filled my mind, and it was like the first time I had ever truly, deeply, understood what that meant. I was being incredibly selfish, and I was dishonoring HIS sacrifice for me, by giving into my baseless fears. And I was reminded that, some day I will have to stand in the presence of the Lord, and answer for my actions. It felt like a real kick in the pants, (which was much needed, by the way).

Not to say that instantly fixed everything in my life, but it was exactly what I needed–to understand that this life is not mine, and I owe everything to Christ. Knowing that I am to live every aspect of my life for Jesus, is literally what gets me out of bed each day. Because if it were solely up to me–why bother?

Remember, you are not nothing; you are valued, you are loved, and above all–Christ died, so that you may live. 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” -Psalm 147:3

“Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually,  ‘Let God be Magnified!'” -Psalm 70:4

Sorry for rambling, that was a bit more long winded than I had intended. I’m not sure if you found it encouraging or not, but I wanted to share what has helped me through dark times.

I’ll be praying for you!