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PursueWisdom replied to the topic The Songkiller’s Synopsis!!! in the forum General Writing Discussions 6 years, 1 month ago
So I when read “I’m in search of opinionated people to help clear me out of this muddle.”
I thought I should probably say something here. 🙂
I’m good with the Option A. Probably give it a 4.5 out of 5 vote. It’s very poetic. It is a bit vague, as the beta you quoted said, but I think in a good way. After reading Option B, I do like some of the details you give – specifically, “He’ll die if he fails,” “killed his mother,” “drench the world in blood.” I’d certainly choose A’s “The harder he tries, the worse he fails, and there are no second chances.” over “But the harder Exton tries, the worse he falls into magician’s snare.” because A has more poetic power.
If I may take the liberty to do a hybrid… ?
In the beginning, the Songkiller sang Chaos into the Fabric of the World. Now, he’s returning to finish his Dark Symphony…
Exton hunts the Songkiller, an immortal magician who murdered his mother. His helpless past could be redeemed through victory.
Three men accompany him, each with fears and aims that could jeopardize the quest: a world-weary wizard, a battle-hungry ranger, and a best friend who begins to doubt him. Together, they must fight to save a backstabbing world without alienating each other in the process.
But they’re a thousand years too late. Exton must give his all or else the Songkiller will drench the world in blood. Yet the harder Exton tries, the worse he fails, and there are no second chances. No one escapes the Songkiller or his Song of Power…
The Song that turns men to monsters.
The Song that is turning Exton into a monster.
Notes: I replaced killed with murdered his mother, so as to not repeat the kill from Songkiller. The last line probably needs work to sound more epic, or else should be taken out. And I capitalized “Song” for epic emphasis because I feel it’s important but this is totally up to you – more of a personal preference for me to see significant nouns treated as proper like older 20th century English. 🙂










