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@deeprun Jumping into this because it’s kind of fascinating and…yeah.

I will automatically always like the “damsel of destruction” better than the “damsel in distress” because in my head… being a girl doesn’t give you an excuse to be a wimp. 😆 That doesn’t mean you have to be out killing bad guys. You can absolutely be in your own home, like you said, changing the world from your kitchen. Maybe that isn’t exactly a damsel of destruction…but it shouldn’t be a damsel in distress either. That’s not fair.

So basically I’d tell you, your girl doesn’t need to be deadly or unfeeling, just don’t let her come across as a wimp.

Super obscure reference, but in the movie Pendragon: Sword of His Father, Wenneveria is the beautiful princess whose kingdom needs saved by the “knight in shining armor.” But she doesn’t come across as a “damsel in distress.” Her father has taught her to fight like any responsible warrior king with no male heir. She’s a brilliant ruler without ever coming across as snobby or overbearing. She’s not in a position to save the kingdom from the Saxons and she can’t go lead the army out to battle. She’s in a vulnerable position and she needs help. But it’s not because she’s not trying her best for her people. It’d be unrealistic to have her out with a broadsword yelling “Stay tight on me!” and leading the army in victory. She’s no damsel of destruction, but she’s strong in the very best way. She’s not going to let the kingdom fall apart waiting for a rescuer, but she’s not going to refuse help, because she needs it.

And YES, Deborah and Jael are such perfect examples of this. They weren’t trying to usurp a man’s place. They weren’t trying to prove their strength. But they showed up when they were needed and they didn’t hesitate, and they did exactly what they had to do. I mean, how many girls today wanting to come across as a real-life Wonder Woman would kill an enemy general with a tent stake??  That’s messy work…