Activity

@sarah-inkdragon

Ooh your story reminds me of one of my favourite shows, Psycho-Pass, which is a little similar in premise (a science-fiction psychological thriller featuring a seemingly perfect society with the main characters being the defenders of the status quo). I’ll just put the synopsis here for reference in case it is useful. From what I see it doesn’t really try to hide that there is a lurking darkness beneath the facade of a perfect world.

Justice, and the enforcement of it, has changed. In the 22nd century, Japan enforces the Sibyl System, an objective means of determining the threat level of each citizen by examining their mental state for signs of criminal intent, known as their Psycho-Pass. Inspectors uphold the law by subjugating, often with lethal force, anyone harboring the slightest ill-will; alongside them are Enforcers, jaded Inspectors that have become latent criminals, granted relative freedom in exchange for carrying out the Inspectors’ dirty work.

Into this world steps Akane Tsunemori, a young woman with an honest desire to uphold justice. However, as she works alongside veteran Enforcer Shinya Kougami, she soon learns that the Sibyl System’s judgments are not as perfect as her fellow Inspectors assume. With everything she has known turned on its head, Akane wrestles with the question of what justice truly is, and whether it can be upheld through the use of a system that may already be corrupt.

I agree with what @seekjustice said. You’re going to have to walk a fine line to lure in your readers without giving too much away or misleading them.

However I am not sure whether the “twist” can really be something your readers won’t see coming in the first 25% of the novel (which I think is the amount that is safe to spoil in the blurb). This is because if there is anything that I learnt from reading the genre it is (1) any world/society said to be perfect isn’t and; (2) anyone against the rebellion’s side (which your main characters seem to be) is bad. Maybe it might work if you’re trying to market it as a cliche YA dystopian novel, but I am not too sure about traditional dystopia (the main characters actually being on the “bad” side sounds vaguely traditionally dystopian to me).

Nevertheless, I think the Psycho-Pass synopsis can give a few more takeaways which you may want to consider for your blurb:

#1: Introduce your main characters. Maybe you can inject a bit more of your main character’s personality and showcase their motivations since that’s the driving force. I’m sure you can write better than this but just to give an example:

Reuel is the son of heroes – martyrs that died to bring Earth into this era of peace. So when a powerful politician is assassinated, threatening to take the world back to the brink of darkness and war, only one response is fitting: put an end to this evil, before it ends them all.

#2: Touch a bit more on the thematic conflict. One of the key themes in Psycho-Pass is justice, so that is mentioned a lot in the synopsis. I understand that “truth” and “real truth” are important concepts in your story but they sound very vague.

#3: Since it is a sci-fi, explain a little what makes your story world more futuristic and different from ours. For Psycho-Pass, there is the Sibyl System mentioned in the synopsis which is an important part of the story as it is basically a supercomputer that micromanages almost every aspect of the characters’ lives so as to achieve maximal happiness. For your story, I cannot really tell from the blurb what is different, except for the “real truth” bit (which again is vague). Is there some sort of brainwashing going on to force people to accept “real truth”?

Hope this helps.