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@deeprun I actually just finished a book that is a great recommendation and answer to this.

Suggestion of the moment: Skyward/Starsight by Brandon Sanderson

First of all… these books are drop-dead amazing. ESPECIALLY Skyward. Both tell their stories expertly (’cause it’s Sanderson), but Skyward has a better story to tell, imo.

The main character is Spensa in both of these, and (wo)man, is she a fighter. But part of makes her interesting and complex and not just some D.O.D. is that her personality is found in her hard-work, her rebellious streak, her desires–she’s not powerful just because she’s a woman. Her character isn’t found in her gender, it’s in who she is as a person–even while she’s very good at what she does.