Activity

@daeus-lamb My first inclination is to look toward the books I actually know which are somewhat similar to you, like Name of the Wind and Wizard of Earthsea, but those are by well-known trad-pubbed authors and so probably aren’t a good point of comparison.

Even still, NotW opens with praise from big name authors and then an excerpt from the story, followed by “So begins a tale unequaled in fantasy literature—the story of a hero told in his own voice. It is a tale of sorrow, a tale of survival, a tale of one man’s search for meaning in his universe, and how that search, and the indomitable will that drove it, gave birth to a legend. ” Which does very much tell us the experience we’ll get in the story—something beautiful and lingering with no real plot.

I don’t know. I see a ton of top-selling epic fantasy books have a catchy, bolded header and claims that it was best-selling or that such-and-such a person loved it. I know that when I added those to my own book description, my sales and reads dramatically rose (and then died when I stopped advertising it, but w/e)

I think an issue that hadn’t really stood out to me before is your description could apply to any number of settings. It doesn’t “grab” me because there are no sticky hands reaching out to snare me. I’ve seen chosen ones, politicians, giants, evil wizards, kingdoms, people who failed to save people, all that stuff in a million places.

I’m going to be really cheeky here and re-write the thing with deliberately hooky details. This may not be a good blurb at all, but it’s at least what I personally would click on.

“I could not save her, so what use am I? To what avail is my family name, my treasure, my magic? Old god, can you hear me? Take it all, only let me atone for my failure. Reward my faith with power, moreso even than your priests possess, for I believe when they cannot.”

Failing to save his love fourteen years ago tortures Exton, driving him to dare what the dragon-witches name impossible. In a war against the oppressive unfaithful, Exton must atone for his weakness or be consumed by a demon of guilt. Where Exton lost one, he will forge the power to save all.

But his dragon-witch mentor, a hierophant of wavering faith, warns Exton his zeal could be his undoing. Guilt is not the only demon to flay the hearts of men, and the old god is less merciful to failure than even Exton himself.

Ancient allies scheme, mercenary assassins convoke, and the truth becomes indistinguishable from heresy. A lowly politic drowns in an undertow of corruption and treachery, giants march closer to the kingdom’s borders, and whispers of a new god tempt the faithful.

And through it all, a lonely artist waits to destroy the world. His song proceeds him, turning the world against itself and beguiling even zealous Exton. Its origin is of old.

Some call it the Songkiller’s symphony.