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@literatureforthelight Thanks!

@snaper *hands you chair*

So here’s what your suggestion would look like. The only thing I didn’t incorporate was that part about describing the setting you mentioned, Grace. I just couldn’t think of a good description off the top of my head.

I like how it reads. I think these were good ideas.

Exton has one chance to stop an ancient traitor from rising again and swathing the world in blood. Proving himself would be a dream come true, and he yearns to save humanity.

But his immortal guide, a wizard of wavering faith, warns him to watch what he hopes for. Other dreamers have dared before him, but turned at last to evil.

Yet what could go wrong with wanting to save the world?

Disaster strikes when whispers circulate of a new god, friends divide, assassins rise, and an innocent people topple on the edge of ruin. Exton is playing a game with no room for failure. The world requires a perfect hero, and where others see impossibility he dares try.

But a deep shadow clutches all in its corrupting hold: the ancient tune first sung by his arch-enemy…

Some call it the Songkiller’s symphony.

~~~~~

The advice I’d gotten before was that the synopsis read like two synopsises forged together, both good, but the first better and that just using the first part would leave the reader at the highest state of suspense. Here’s what that would look like.

Exton has one chance to stop an ancient traitor from rising again and swathing the world in blood. Proving himself would be a dream come true, and he yearns to save humanity.

But his immortal guide, a wizard of wavering faith, warns him to watch what he hopes for. Other dreamers have dared before him, but turned at last to evil.

Yet what could go wrong with wanting to save the world?

He doesn’t account for the deep shadow lying over the land,  first sung by his arch-enemy…

Some call it the Songkiller’s symphony.

Those last 2 lines might not be quite right. I jotted them down quickly, and they could be tweaked if there’s a better way to give that general idea.