Activity

@daeus-lamb

Whoaa… this is so exciting. 😉

Personally, I feel like the first sentence could include a little bit of setting, like referencing the land that the story takes place in. Perhaps this could stand in place of “the world” which would help tie the reader’s mind down to a specific place. Also, it would keep the second “the world” from being repetitive.

I would also format part of the bottom half like this (revisions are italicized):

Disaster strikes when whispers circulate of a new god, friends divide, assassins rise, and an innocent people topple on the edge of ruin. Exton is playing a game with no mercy for failure. The world requires a perfect hero–and where others see impossibility, he dares to try.

To me, that reads clearer and is a little less choppy.

I actually haven’t been on this forum in foreverrrrr (hehe) — so take my suggestions with a grain of salt. Maybe it matches up with something someone’s already said to you.