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@ariella-newheart

If I can, I’ll read the first few chapters again tomorrow so I can give you some better feedback. However, I already have a few thoughts, so I’ll share them right now. 🙂

First, I loved the start to your book. The first chapter would be a gripping hook even if the prologue was dropped, which is really important. (I’ll defer to where I learned this. xD) I didn’t feel like the action punched me in the face because it didn’t start with the super intense action—it started with a smaller action (Ariella running away) that built up to the super intense action. (I think if you’d started with the dragon attack, that might have been a bit much.) Plus, the prologue, though it was intense and raised dozens of questions, was not very “high action” if I remember correctly.

Second, the reason it feels like it started too suddenly, I think, is that the action doesn’t really slow down for a while after that explosive first scene. I didn’t feel slammed in the face—I felt more like I was hurried along a bit too quickly without having enough time to process the events. The rapid action can be epic farther along in the story, but towards the beginning, it’s difficult to process everything (with all the unanswered questions about the backstory, the characters, and the setting).

So, I think my suggestion would be to keep the high-action first scene or two, but to weave a few quieter, reaction scenes between the action after that to slow (but not drag) the pacing a bit. <span style=”display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,’Times New Roman’,’Bitstream Charter’,Times,serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;”>The quiet scenes can show as much about a character as the intense action scenes (at times, maybe even more), and those can be great times to hint at backstory.</span>

Like I said, I’ll try to reread the beginning to see if I can share any more thoughs. But in the meantime, let me know if this helps you, and I’d be happy to talk about it more!

Keep up the great work, friend! <3