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Hey! I’m a guy INFP, yes! Tagged a few weeks ago and kept forgetting to reply (other than in my head). I thought there were more of us guyNFPs around (lol dad-joke alert), but maybe not. Anyway, I’d be happy to go through and offer my perspective on the initial questions.

1. How is he likely to act under life-and-death pressure (this time including instances where past trauma jumps up to slap him in the face)?

It depends how self-aware he is, I think. I’m an INFP, but a 9 on the Enneagram, meaning that it is easy for me to switch off my experience of strong emotions. It would take a lot for me to reach a trauma state, because I can dull a lot of that pretty well. Now, generally I do this kind of dulling in the long-term, but I think it kicks into high gear when in a life and death situation. I am very introspective and self-aware, so it’s almost like I know I will freeze up if I allow the emotion of the moment to sink in. So I don’t.

In a situation where there is past trauma, I think this would make him more aware of his reactions, and more able to preemptively back away emotionally in order to survive the immediate situation.

However, I think this could be flipped on the head pretty easily, if he is a strong F and acts out his emotions without much self-awareness. He could easily struggle with a fatal moment of hesitation, uncertainty, or self-doubt.

Some of this depends on whose life is in danger. If it is someone else’s life, I think he is more likely to act than not to act – even if his timing may be a little delayed. It’s when his own life is concerned that there’s a lot more of the psychological aspects that come into play.

2. How is he liable to express both positive and negative emotions? (Important backstory info: he grew up in a tribe that had a strong unspoken “men don’t cry or show much emotion at all” outlook. My current plan is to have him learn to hide what he’s feeling until he’s alone, and after he leaves the tribe, slowly leave that mentality. Would this be accurate, or do you think by the time he left the tribe—at about age thirteen—the mentality would be too firmly set to be reversed like that? Are there other issues I’m not seeing?)

I grew up in a family that did not express strong positive or negative emotions to one another very easily. Anger and annoyance and moderately affectionate goodwill were the most common. Although I probably cried a fair amount, all things considered, I did come to adopt a less-than-healthy relationship with expressing my own emotions. Although this is not as severe as an entire cultural mindset, as in the case of your character, I have learned to outgrow my family atmosphere and now express my emotions quite freely.

But.

I only do so predominantly around the people that I feel totally comfortable with (or when I’m by myself, obviously :P).

So, I think giving him an arc where he learns to outgrow his upbringing is entirely realistic, because it mirrors my own personal growth (though to a greater degree). INFPs are kind of *really* messed up people inside if they don’t learn how to express their emotion in healthy ways, so I think it’s an awesome character arc to explore. 🙂

3. How is he likely to act toward people he cares about (both guys and girls)?

There are a few levels, I think, that add up and snowball as you go along:

1. He will tease people that he comfortable with. He’s likely to use humor as a way to establish ‘good air’ in the relationship. They’re comfortable around one another. They can joke about stuff. With guys, this is usually a bit coarser and harsher. With girls, it’s oftentimes a bit flirty.

2. He will get real with his people. The ones that he considers inside his circle of trusted people, he will confide much of himself to. This might look the same for both genders, depending on his upbringing, but he’s more likely to hold himself back with female friends. However, speaking from personal experience, that isn’t always the case. I have very close friends of both genders. Also, sometimes he will open up in an atmosphere where he’s comfortable, even if he doesn’t quite know people. This has happened to me and it’s like the missing extroverted version of me takes over. Kinda crazy, actually.

3. If he truly loves someone (roughly the same circle as in number 2), he will be tempted to become possessive of them. Their choices, if he perceives them as bad ones, will really bother him, and he could get into a pattern of trying to make other people think the way he does, so they won’t make those mistakes.
On the positive side, if he learns to love freely, he can be very gentle and accepting of a loved one’s choices and even their mistakes.

4. How is he likely to react to being bullied and to watching someone else being bullied?

He will care less about himself getting bullied. It may effect him greatly, but he will still care about it less than others getting bullied. He will likely suppress the actual damage to himself, especially if the bullying is not physical. If it is physical he is more likely to flash and fight back.

If it is someone else being bullied, he will either step in or hate himself for not stepping in. Of course, don’t forget, there’s always potential for an unhealthy INFP to bully others with heavy sarcasm and passive-aggressive manipulation, but they’re unlikely to physically bully.

If he does get involved when someone else is getting bullied, it’s likely to be kinda out of control. Not very measured. Something just kinda snaps and they go feral for a half-second. Especially if it’s a physical conflict. Might even throw the first punch sort of deal. But if it’s only verbal, he’ll lash out hard.

Or all of the emotion of needing to protect the other person will hit him so hard he fumbles around and doesn’t do anything very smoothly, but still gets involved and stops the conflict from going any further just by stepping in. Well, hopefully that’s enough to stop the bullying.

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Anyway, a lot of that is very personal to me, but I tried to generalize a couple things, too. It’s hard for me to speak out of anything but personal experience. Hope this helps!