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@azeline-d I really liked your poems’ themes! Overall, you had vivid word choices which I appreciate. The second poem had great imagery–especially the first three lines.

In a few places, something that would help us as readers would be changing the word order or playing around with word choice. I’m the thinking of “Are a few of very many/That all humans much desire,” and “Which causes you in fear to decay.” In those lines, I felt that you could make your meaning clearer to make it more poignant, improving the lovely rhythm you started out with.

And as a general note, I try to keep adverbs out of my poetry as much as possible, and avoid using the word “very.” (Because of the word count, I find it better to be as concise as possible).  I’m not saying to cut all adverbs and verys out, but just keep it in mind.

I love these poems–you’re a natural poet! Keep up the awesome work. 🙂