Activity

I wouldn’t worry about perfectly timing your structural beats in a short story, at least not as much as in a novel. The dystopian setting is cliched, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it lets your readers become familiar with your setting quickly. If you wanted to expand the story, you could add a plot twist at the end– what if the Asylum is actually an elite school run by a group that believes education should only be given to those who truly desire it, and the rest of society is a test to find those who will seek knowledge at any cost? Alternatively, what if Remi discovers a chance to escape– but doing so will result in a guard who showed her kindness being severely punished? Or what if the Condemner turns out to be a sympathetic character who believes she’s doing what’s best for society– but Remi’s sacrifice shows her a better way?

Any of these could make for a good story, although you’d want to go back and sow foreshadowing earlier.