Activity

Thanks everyone for the feedback!

@steward-of-the-pen I’m afraid I’m going to push back on the bit about Randy’s introduction. This a situation where it is imperative we get a solid and unambiguous picture of the narrator’s perception of the character, and that we get it quickly. It’s a situation where we have no opportunity for further characterization. If we were creating a long-form work, then I’d absolutely cut this and use flashbacks throughout the story instead, but we don’t have that opportunity.

This is where telling shines.

But thanks so much for the advice in general. It’s been very helpful and has made this a better story.