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Maddie Morrow replied to the topic Poem – Sundrops in the forum Critiques 7 years, 2 months ago
first of all, I love this. It’s beautiful.
That being said, I don’t know how to answer your questions.
1) I do feel like it is generally cohesive in that I think each section of it is talking about the same thing. However, I’m not 100% sure what I’m reading about. Sadness in general, no joy. Hope? Now I’m not sure that entirely a bad thing, cuz like I said, this is beautiful. And if those emotions of joy/Hope/sadness are what you are trying to convey, then I think it’s accomplished well. But if that’s not the goal, or if you were only trying to get one across then maybe it needs tweaked.
2) I love the first stanza. And I love the third stanza. The second one throws me a bit. I’m lost on what “sadness, glory only by design” is getting at. I’m not understanding how sadness and glory go together. I think if that line was clarified just a bit probably the rest of the stanza would into place.












