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Coralie started the topic The Ugly Stepsister in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Hey, guys! So, I’m working on this Cinderella retelling and I’d love to know your thoughts on these two scenes, my tentative opening scene and a glassblowing scene. Here’s the link and thanks so much!
Working Title: The Ugly Stepsister
Word Count: 3,172
Critique: I’m really struggling with the glassblowing scene, especially. Is it too long? Is it too boring? How do I make it more intriguing and still keep the unique process? I need the setup with their relationship and his profession for later, but I just feel like this drags. Is it difficult to follow/visualize? Should I consolidate the process just for clarity/pacing’s sake (as opposed to describing it in such detail, which is more accurate)? What suggestions do you have for this scene?
Any other comments are most welcome!!!












